Sunshine on a cloudy day [Juni]

[Juniper Jackson]

[atrb=width,450,true][atrb=border,0,false][cs=0][bg=000000] It was much harder than she'd imagined, hearing him talk about Tanya this way. It was so clear how much he'd felt for Tanya and how little he had left to give away. But it was time to listen and time to stop wishing for things that could never happen, she'd caused herself enough pain. She was going to move on. His story filled her with rage, once she got past the original pain, Tanya did not deserve to die that way. She did not deserve to get murdered by a vampire, and neither did her children. Tears formed in Juni's eyes at the thought of it and flowed down her cheeks. Twin girls murdered before they'd had a chance to live. The story kept getting worse, and his eyes had returned to emerald green. It looked like things were going to turn around for him, but she knew that wasn't possible. At the mention of this Phoenix person, and mates, Juni was really confused. She'd never heard about mates, ever, but the thought of it made her feelings make sense. Maybe that's what she was feeling for Damien, maybe that's what she'd been feeling her whole life. But then she realized that couldn't be it. Wolves had one mate, and Damien knew that he'd already found his. Every time she thought there might be some hope it was yanked out from under her feet. And she kept forgetting about her promise to herself to move on. He'd almost been married twice. He'd had two loves that were enough for him to want to spend the rest of his life with them. He'd had three children, and she was sure they had all been beautiful. And Juni had done...nothing. She felt like a failure, yes he may have loved and lost but at least he'd been out there. At least he'd tried to find love. Her whole life she'd spent so much time hiding from everyone else. It must have been hard from him, to be left for a vampire after seeing your family murdered by one. Juni wanted to go over and comfort him but she thought it would be better if she just stayed where she was. Contact had spelled only trouble for them tonight. But his next words only made her mad. How could he take all the blame of everything on himself. The deaths of Tanya and his parents had been the fault of no one but the vampire, this Phoenix person leaving couldn't possibly have been his fault. And the fact that she had just left him to his thoughts this way, and abandoned the baby into his care, it made her mad. "You're an idiot." It was all she could think of to say at that moment, and she leaned forward, her expression was intense. "Damien, you can't keep blaming yourself for what has happened in your life. I can understand how you would think that Tanya and your parents were your fault but that's just not true. You were just doing your job, how could you know that the vampire was going to do something like that? There was nothing you could have done to prevent it and you can't keep taking it all on your shoulders." Juni got up and moved over to sit next to him on the couch, she took his hands in hers and turned his head toward her, making sure that she caught his eyes. "You can't make everything that goes wrong in your life your fault Damien, some times things just don't work out the way we planned. How can you think it's your fault that this...Phoenix person left you? That is clearly a problem with her not a problem with you. Don't you dare make everything your fault, that's no way to live your life. No wonder you're so depressed, you're taking the weight of the world on your shoulders." She shook her head. "You'll never be able to get on with your life, you'll never be able to be happy, and you'll never be able to raise your daughter right if you keep on this way. Let Tanya go, let your parents go, and let Phoenix go. Mistakes happen, things change, but life goes on. You have a beautiful little girl in there, and she deserves to have a happy daddy." Juni gently caressed his cheek and sighed. "And you deserve to be happy." ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Count It: 774 Dedicate It: Damien Comment It: Poor Damien, yes. Dress It: this

[Damien Rogue]

[atrb=width,450,true][atrb=border,0,false][cs=0][bg=000806] Talking about Tanya wasnt just hard on him. It was brutal. She had been the very first person he had ever loved. That he had willingly given his heart to. Tanya had had the power to make him beg and plead if she so much as asked it of him. It was scary what happens to a guy when they give themselves fully to someone like he had done for Tanya. But he also wasnt the only one to feel pain over her loss. Just looking at Juni right now, he could tell it was hard for the both of them. Juni and Tanya had been the closest of friends and cousins anyone could imagine. More like sisters then anything else and when you saw one, you knew the other wasnt far behind. It had always warmed his heart to see them both together. He always said, 'There are my girls.' And even though he was a guy, his best friends were those two beautiful girls. What pained him most was that he hadnt been able to stop her from dying. And the funeral had been achingly difficult. Plus, he had Tanya's funeral one day and then his parents funeral the next. Tanya's parents hadnt out right said it was his fault for their daughters and grand children's deaths, but he could smell their emotions and feel it in their stares. They blamed him. They blamed him for everything. Before the deaths of the three girls of his family, they had been loving in laws to him. They had taken him in like he was their son. And his own parents had gotten along with them wonderfully. The werewolves and the humans. The lines never blurring and yet not existing at all when they were all together. Tanya never knew what he was...and now he knew he should have told her. It could have protected her. Thinking of the funeral he also recalled that Juni hadnt been at the funeral. At the time he thought she hadnt known that Tanya was dead and since he didnt know where she was...he couldnt tell her. And since everyone blamed him for the deaths, he hadnt had anyone to help him through it. He hadnt had someone to hold him and tell him it would be all right. And so he had dealt with everything that was dished at him. After the funerals he had gone back to work and not really opened up to anyone. He made sure the place stayed running and he updated a bunch of things to make the place newer, more fun and to get more of the younger crowd into the place. If you couldnt get a lot of people to dance at your club, you were a goner. It had been a scare for a while there, but the place was packed after a few months and the crowds kept coming. Once his tale was done, he couldnt help but watch her. Wait for that disappointment to appear in her eyes like it had for everyone else. Kat was the only one anymore who didnt look at him with pity and disappointment. The others didnt know what to do with him anymore. Even his workers at the club didnt know what to do. Damien was a sad excuse for a creature at the current point in time. The sad part though, was that he was ten times better then he had been a few months ago. Time healed wounds it was true...but it never said how long it would take. And how long does it take to mend a heart that had only been duct taped back together in the first place? It would heal, yes, but it would be a while before it was whole again. He knew that, and everyone else could see that. But they still didnt understand that concept. He hoped none of them had to go through the pain he had. He didnt want anyone to understand this. However, her eyes didnt fill with that emotion he was looking for. She seemed more angry then anything else. And that confused him. Why was she angry? And her words just made him blink and then look down at his hands that he had folded in front of him. He was an idiot? How many times had he heard that one? A bunch. As the saying went, if he had a nickel for every time he heard that one he would be a rich man. It wasnt until she came over and sat by him, taking his hands to make him look at her that he let his eyes catch hers again. Her words held truth in them. It wasnt his fault..but he still felt like it was. And every day he lived with that fact. And every day he lived with his own regret and sorrow. Was that keeping him from recovering fully? Where his heart was only slightly better? Even when Nix had been with him he had been in pain at night when the memories clouded in. Her hand touched his cheek and he closed his eyes softly, savoring the touch. It was something he had needed. Something he had needed for a long time and the only one to understand that hadnt been around. But she was now. Touching her hand gently with his, keeping it on his cheek he reopened his eyes to look at her. They were still green, but not as dark, lightening up to more a gray green. And maybe in time, she could help him be happy again. Because she was right. Aura did deserve a daddy that was happy and to see him happy. She would learn by his example and learn to be like him through his emotions as a role model. He couldnt remain depressed his whole life. But just saying it didnt mean he could let go that easily. He knew he needed to..but it would take some time. Slowly, he could do it. "Its easier said then done....But I understand. You are totally correct. I cant bear the weight of things that arent my fault. I still feel they are at the moment, but with some help....if you'll help me..I could possibly get rid of those feelings of guilt and be happy again. I understand if you want to get as far away from me as possible. Hell, I probably would...I dont want to be around me half the time anyway." He told her and gave a small smile before placing a delicate kiss to the palm of her hand and then getting up from the couch to go over to the piano that was in the corner. Sitting down on the bench he trailed his fingers over the ivory and black keys. Looking back at her he smiled. "Do you remember when Tanya you and I used to hang out and we would all sing as I played?" He asked her, remembering those times easily. Damien was better at the guitar then he was piano, but he could play it beautifully still. His mother had taught him, telling him it would impress the girls. He knew that wasnt true, but he had learned it like a good little boy he was. Taking his eyes off of Juni he looked back to the keys and started to play softly. Letting the first few lines play in the room. Aura was used to him playing at night. It actually helped her sleep and keep her asleep. For the first few weeks he had her, she hadnt been able to sleep at all unless she heard him sing her to her dreams. Once the opening phrases were over, he took a breath in and then began to sing quietly. "Ive been alone with you inside my head. And in my dreams Ive kissed your lips a thousand times. I sometimes see you pass outside my door. Hello, is it me your looking for?" Hopefully she knew the song and could join in like they used to do. If not, he was fine singing the beautiful song on his own. It was one of his favorites because of how beautifully it was written and sung. Sometimes music was the purest sense of art. ~~~~~~~~~~ Count it: 1468 Tag it: Juni Comment: Dawwww. And the song he is singing is Hello by Lionel Richie. Wearing it: This Listen to it: Hello I love you, Glee cast

[Juniper Jackson]

[atrb=width,450,true][atrb=border,0,false][cs=0][bg=000000] Juni would be crushed if she ever found out just how much she had hurt him by leaving. In her mind, it hadn't been that big of a deal, he'd had Tanya directly after he left. Her exit probably hadn't made much of stir in his conscience at all. And after Tanya died, well at that point it would have been years since Damien had even seen her. Her presence was absent at Tanya's funeral as well as that of Damien's parents for good reason, that was the night her own parents had got into a devastating car accident and been placed into the hospital. The two of them were in such a precarious position that Juni couldn't allow herself to leave their side. Two weeks later they were dead and Juni was kept even more busy consoling Tanya's mother, her aunt, after the deaths of both her daughter and her sister. It had been a tough time, but once she'd finally managed to get Tanya's mother and father back on their feet, carefully taking the time to mend their broken hearts, she left. They had unofficially adopted Juni as their own daughter since they had lost theirs and she had lost her parents. She still kept in touch with them, and had even done her best to convince them that Damien hadn't been at fault. They hadn't known how she was killed, but they had blamed him for not protecting her. After leaving her aunt's home, Juni had found herself returning to Damien's old house. She didn't know what she expected, there was no reason why he would possibly still live there. Just as could be expected, the house was deserted but Juni had entered it anyway and walked into Damien's old room. She had stood in the center and cried for the pain her friend and secret love must have been feeling. Minutes later she left, dry eyed from so many long weeks of tears, and returned to her own home. If she'd known how much he'd needed her, she would have tried harder to find him. If only she had, perhaps all of this sorrow in his eyes could have been avoided. Juni was the best at mending broken hearts. She'd had lots of practice with the girls at her school and later with the poor women who came to her bakery looking to load up on sweets and eat their pain away. But maybe she could help him now. His words made her happy and sad at the same time. She hadn't really expected him to get better just like that, but his pain was still intense and she wanted to change that. However, he was asking her to help her, so she would get the chance to try. Her head shook vehemently at his suggestion that she would want to leave. How could she leave him like this? What kind of friend would she be? Leaving him now would be nothing like leaving before had been. He was alone, mostly, and trying to take care of a baby. In his condition, if she left, it would all likely fall apart. "No no, don't think you can get rid of me that easily mister. I'm here to stay." Her voice softened and she sighed. "I want to help you Damien. I want you to be able to find love again. I'm sure there's someone out there right now that would just be...perfect." Her voice threatened to waver but she managed to hold it together. She watched as he got up and her attention was drawn to the piano. It was beautiful and it did bring back the memories. Late night parties, Damien with his guitar, Tanya shaking her body as provocatively as possible, and Juni just sitting back providing vocal accompaniment. "I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smi-i-ile, you're all I've ever wanted, and my arms are open wide, 'cause you know just what to say, and you know just what to do, and I want to tell you so much, I love you..." Hello by Lionel Richie was one of her favorite songs of all time. But at this particular moment, it was more of a heartbreak than anything else. It fit her, how she was feeling, how she'd always felt. A smile broke over her face at the irony. "I long to see the sunlight in your hair, and tell you time and time again how much I care, sometimes I feel my heart will overflow, hello, I've just got to let you know..." ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Count It: 797 Dedicate It: Damien Comment It: Yay for Glee! Vogue was like..awesome. Just saying. Dress It: this