Then I see your face (ALI/ PRIVATE)

[Rose Decumbry]

[atrb=width,400,true][atrb=border,0,false][cs=0][bg=000000] “Hold me higher Kelly! Higher, Higher!” the little Rose said, her cheeks flushed excitedly as Kelly had lifted her up and twirled her around. She was of about five years of age, and hadn’t a care in the world. Her biggest worry at the moment was how high Kelly could lift her. “Alright Rose, I’ll take you higher!” they both laughed was all either of them cared about at the moment; how high Rose could go. And then, she was on the ground hugging Kelly closely around the waist. “Promise you’ll never leave me Kelly! Promise!” Rose looked up at her, a Cheshire grin on her face. “I promise Rose. I’ll always be with you, always. Look in here,” she pulled away and pointed to her heart. The scene fast forwarded to a casket being taken out of the front door of the Decumbry manor. It was Kelly. She’d died; of poisoning. Her heart was aching, and all she could do was cry. Cry tears of grief and angry. At the funeral when she was alone at the front of her casket, she only said one sentence. “You’ll always be in my heart…” she pointed to the cold heart of Kelly, tears staying wrapped in her eyes for once. And then she was gone. Rose was alone; with her father. Rose snapped out of her memory, tears rolling down her face; a never ending flow. She was sitting in her bedroom, near the windowsill stiff backed against a chair. Why was she remembering things from her past life? A life that meant nothing to her anymore; was nothing. She stood, wiping her eyes but sat back down immediately, sucked into another memory. “You are nothing! You will always be an ungrateful little bitch! You will marry whom I pick for you, you will bear him children, and you will die! Do you understand me?!” it was her father, Kevin Decumbry, screaming in her face. Like a good child, a good mistress, she never spat back at him. She only sat there, hands crossed in her lap, and took it. “Say something!” she met his eyes steadily, smiling almost. “Women are not to be spoken to unless they are requested to, father. Do you request to speak to me?” his hand raised to hit her, but he lowered it. “Like I said Rose Marie Decumbry, you will be nothing your entire lifetime. Go, I have done with you.” she calmly collected herself, and went to her attic bedroom. With the door shut, she started to cry. The big open window shining night and rain into her window was the only thing that consoled her. “Kelly, Kelly why did you leave me? Did you ever love me at all?” she was thirteen at the time, home from school for awhile. She’d dealt with her father for too long, and wanted him gone. Out of her life. Forever. Did she have the backbone to actually rid of him? Of course not. The tears had stopped, replaced with hatred, as Rose sat in that chair; looking out over the window she’d just been at in her memory. She blinked, resting her head on her knees. “Why are you doing this to me?” she whispered, her mouth hanging open. Because Rose, we already went over this. The only way you’ll ever truly be at peace of mind, is when you’re dead. I can help you achieve that. Just think of everyone you would see again. Kelly, Jacqoline, the lost love of your life, puppy dog Anthony…even your mother. You would finally get to see your precious mother, wouldn’t you like that? she closed her eyes, imagining the vision. She was always told when she was younger that she resembled her mother more than her father, but there weren’t any pictures of her mother. Anywhere. “Yes…” she muttered, wanting to finally be reunited with people she’d missed the most. “But I’m not going there, I’m going to hell.” It was a true statement after all. Rose wasn’t a saint; not with her bloody past. With her massacre of her family and thousands of other innocent people, it was not something one left the world with the best graces on. Oh Rose! Don’t think like that, you’re a good girl in the end. You’ve redeemed yourself. Think about all the good you’ve done in this extended lifetime. How many people have you helped? Fought for? Saved even? she scoffed, fangs peering through her lips. “Good? I’m a creature of the damned, there is no such thing as a road to redemption for me. Mainly because of you, but still…I can’t save myself when I’ve dug myself in this deep. I am untreatable a lost cause. Because of you.” Oh Rose…you poor thing. I tried to make it seem easy, but I guess you like things the hard way. another memory blew up in her mind. Her emotional state shook. Anthony, as a werewolf running around her, doing tricks to make her laugh. She did laugh; she laughed whole-heartedly letting herself enjoy everything about tonight. Anthony bound over to her, and she let her nestle into his fur, whispering three delicate words. And then her world turned upside down. They had shot him, four times, fatally. Her tears flowed, watching the one slip from his eye down his long nose. He died then and there, and she buried her face into his fur, feeling the blood stain her clothing. The hunters that had shot him tried to convince her that they had saved her life. There were just protecting her, keeping her alive longer. No, they weren’t and she killed them. Brutally. She promised Anthony she would join him once again, promised to be with him once more. She buried him, she buried him. Rose was dragged out of her flashback once more, now on the floor curled into a ball. She was lost. Anthony was gone. Why had she continued to love after he was gone, when no one else ever compared to her werewolf love? It felt like her heart squeezed and she cried out in pain. Why hadn’t she joined him immediately after he left her? She could have stayed till sunrise, and burned to a crisp next to his body. See Rose, you promised to join him again one day. I think that day has come. Everyone’s settling down Rose…everyone except you. Nobody loves you Rose. Why do you think they’ve all abandoned you? Ali’s married. Inora up and left. Katra’s married. Phoenix has Sevanni. Who has you Rose? Oh…right…nobody. They’ve all left you Rose. Anthony, Mathieu, Tyson, Derek, Hyde….all gone. I mean I can understand; someone with as much emotional baggage as you…it’s almost kind of sad. it laughed, and Rose shook her head trying to block his thoughts. “That’s not true. That’s not true. They’ve been there for me. They haven’t forgotten about me. I know they haven’t.” she was lying, because she didn’t even know the truth herself anymore. if they remembered you Rose, then why aren’t they here? Helping you? They should see that you’re not the same anymore. They should see that you’re not yourself. True friends would… she shook her head, rolling around onto her other side. “They’re busy. They have their own life.” The thing seemed to have laughed again. A life without you in it. Rose…this isn’t your time. You’re time was over a hundred years ago. You may be a vampire, but you weren’t meant to be. You weren’t meant to evolve like this. You should have died, the night of your birthday. You should be laying next to your family’s grave now. Not sitting in your room. We both know that. she moved her lips in, tilting her head down. “Why are you doing this to me? What do you want with me?” her breath was coming in quick sighs, trying to remain calm. Let me show you the life you were supposed to live. She was home; but several decades ago. She was about ten, dressed elegantly in a light pink 1900’s dress, her blond hair on top of her head, decked with bouncing curls. She was standing next to her only sister left, who was holding a child of her own. Rose was standing, a blank expression on her face, arms crossed daintily across her body. Even then, she resembled a vampire though she was still human. Her entire complexion was that of ivory. Her wide blue eyes blinking only so often and her pouty lips painted in crimson red. She was quiet and only spoke when spoken to. “Jacqoline,” she started, her eyes never leaving the dancing group of people, “Why aren’t we dancing? I do fancy it,” she turned to look up at Jacqoline, blinking innocently. Jacqoline looked at her, she being quite the beauty as well. With her chocolate brown hair, even wider blue eyes, and tan skin that showed no flaws. Her smile was one that ‘lit up the room’ “Well, sweet Rose, we are not dancing because…well I am not dancing because I have my own child to take care of. I am sure though, a young man will ask you to dance, what not with your budding body and such,” she smiled, petting the top of Roses head slightly. “And if a man does not ask you to dance, then it is he who is the fool, not you.” She nodded; turning back content with the answer she was given. Just as she was about to speak again, a young boy approached her; not much older than she. He had shaggy brown hair, with bewitching hazel eyes. He had dimples when his mouth pulled back to reveal his smile. “May I have this dance, Ms. Rose Decumbry?” she smiled bashfully, but took his hand, and they swept to the ballroom floor. They danced for numerous numbers, until Rose was forced to retreat. She was back in her bedroom, now her back against the large open window, her body splayed lazily out in front of her. “Stop doing this. Those aren’t your memories to drop into,” she growled weakly. Isn’t it Rose? We are somewhat of the same person. “You’re wrong, we’re nothing alike. Nothing. I am a lady, you are a terrible monster.” Her head rolled to the side, blond strands sticking to the window. Really Rose? Why do you think I stayed with you for so long? You’re temper, my temper. We are quite the item, wouldn’t you agree? I mean all the people you killed… Rose groaned, she knew what was coming next. She was running at great speed, to Jacqoline’s house. She had just killed her father and several other people who she’d run into on the way. Her clothing, drenched in blood, staining her body and clothing; her mouth the darkest source to it. She was hungry, oh so hungry. And the closest source of food she could find was Jacqoline; pretty little Jacqoline, having the perfect life with her perfect family. It was sickening and unfair how she got the life she wanted while Rose had to rot with her father. She stopped her run to a slow trot. She was here; at her house, the lights off. Of course they’d be off, it was past midnight. She busted through the door, and a baby started wailing. “Jacqoline! Jacqoline help me please!” it was a somewhat innocent voice, crying out through the house. “Rose, is that you?” she appeared at the top of the staircase, in a modest nightgown. “Oh god, Rose, what happened to you?” she ran down the stairs, collecting the appeared to be broken Rose in her arms. “He, he hurt me.” her neck was placed delicately near Rose’s mouth; the perfect opportunity for Rose, but she had to wait, had to be patient despite her hunger. “Who? Anthony? Did Anthony hurt you?” she meekly nodded her reply. Her husband appeared, holding the baby, still crying. Rose looked at them, her eyes glowing red. “He hurt you? That son of a-” he started, but Jacqoline shushed him. “Not in front of Charlene,” she replied before returning her attention back on Rose. “What did he do? Rose, why are you covered in blood?” she smiled, brushing her lips against her neck. “Because, dear sister, I’m terribly hungry.” Jacqoline began to laugh nervously, “Rose if you were hungry I could have-” her sentence was cut off by the screaming that started as Rose sank her fangs into her neck, ripping the epidermises clear off and nuzzling her neck deeper into the neck; going for the jugular. Her voice was so high pitched, and pained, but Rose liked it; oh how she loved it. The screaming lasted only for a few seconds, as her vocal box was trashed and ripped to shreds by the ferocious teeth. She continued to drink after she had died though; her hunger was still a pit less disease. After she had her fair share of blood from her own line, she dropped her to the ground. “Because, dear sister, I’m hungry for blood.” Her attention turned to the husband, Christopher, standing paralyzed in the path of her destruction. “Please, not the children. Take me, just leave my children alone.” He was pleading, his eyes darting back to Jacqoline then with fear back to Rose. “See, thing is Christopher, I’m hungry. Oh so terribly hungry. And I refuse to stop until my hunger is fulfilled. Sadly for you, that hunger is just not getting what it wants. I need to give it what it wants.” She flicked some dried bloody hair over her shoulder, licking her lips in anticipation. “Rose, please we can get you help for this.” “I don’t want help.” She said a snide smirk on her face. She walked slowly up the staircase looking forward to a game of cat and mouse. He ran, with the baby into a room, she saw before he even thought of it. The door was shut, more like slammed but it was no match for Rose. She sighed, rolling her eyes bored with the situation. “Come on Christopher, do I look stupid? I broke your poor door, this should be nothing.” She yawned, and broke the door, letting it swing open. They were in the corner of the room, and she tilted her head, confused at why he wasn’t going to fight. “Don’t you want to at least try and salvage your Childs life at the risk of your own? I don’t see why Jacqoline even bothered with you; you’re not much of a man anyways.” She walked her way over to him, and broke his neck with a back hand slap. The baby was still crying, and she looked down at it, squatting at his level. “What should I do with you?” her finger trailed along his neck, cutting into it with her nail. The wailing increased, and she was somewhat gentle with him, when she drank from him. His crying didn’t continue much after that. She drained him quickly, seeing as how he didn’t have much to drain. She turned back to Christopher, casting the baby aside. Rose pulled him forward, ripping right into his throat. He tasted the best out of all of them so far, and she drained him with much enthusiasm. She was done with him in a matter of minutes, and moved onto the other children. They were easy and defenseless targets, and that was the best part. Rose was shaking now, with such regret. “Stop it! Just….stop, don’t make me do this again. Don’t make me do this…” she shook her head, tears coming more quickly. Call your dear niece, Rose. Call her and tell her you want to die. Tell her you want to die just like Stephen did. Fire, burned the entire house down, not even a trace of bone from poor Stephen. rose shook her head, violently. “No, I’m not doing that. I’m not putting her through that, I’m not!” She did though, reach for her phone. “I’m not going to call her and tell her I want to die. No. Never.” She caught Ali on speed dial, listening to the dial tone. She won’t pick up Rose, not when she sees it’s you calling. the phone did go to voicemail much to her disappointment. She left a message with a shaky voice. “Ali…please, Ali Help me. The demon is trying to kill me, and it won’t stop. Ali…Ali please.” she dropped her phone, after hitting the end button. She curled up again, her head in her lap. “Make it stop, make it stop.” She pleaded. “Please…just leave me alone. You promised you would after Alaska.” She was standing now, pacing. I don’t keep promises Rose. But I want you to keep your promise, for Anthony. Don’t you want to keep that promise? It was the last thing you said to him, before you ran away from all your fears. That’s what your good at Rose. Running away from everything. she stopped mid stride, and closed her eyes. This much was true, she ran away from everything. Relationships and personal problems. “That’s normal,” she spat while wandering into the bathroom. Look at yourself Rose, look at the monster you are. Do you enjoy it? She did look at herself with intensity. Her frail frame, small and narrow. Her constructed face, cheekbones that poked through the skin. The shadow cast under her cerulean blue eyes, her pointed noise and pouty lips. The infamous long blond hair; it was all her stopped at fifteen. “I wasn’t a monster before, and I’m not one now.” She frowned, “I looked like this before I was a vampire, and I still do now. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Rose stared at herself, wandering if her statement was actually true. Was there nothing wrong with that? Was it possible that she was a monster before she was even a vampire? Or did her anger make her a good candidate to become a vampire? There is Rose. This is the face of a killer, the body of a cold blooded killer. Do you think anybody wants to look at that? Rose knew the answer to that. Go ahead Rose, make sure nobody sees the face of a killer anymore. she growled viciously, and took her hands to the mirror, beating at it repeatedly. The face of a killer needed to be destroyed, everything that gave her presence away needed to be rid of. Her hands became bloody quickly, letting shards of glass slide in underneath her skin. The pain was quick and momentary, but resided quickly. Good girl Rose. “Shut up! I am done with you! So done with you, you being inside my head you sick bastard! Get out! You do not belong here and I refuse to let you continue doing this to me! I am my own person; you are your own selfish, sick and disgusting twisted version of me. I don’t need you to make me feel whole…” she was down, hunched on her knees cradling her head in her bloody hands. See that’s where you’re wrong. You do need me to feel whole, I’m the closest thing to your human life and you know it. That’s why you abide by me, because you don’t want to disappoint me. Remind you of someone? Rose clenched her jaw, looking at the shattered glass scattered around her. “Yeah, my father.” She replied snidely, catching her reflection in a shard of glass. And you just loved pleasing daddy, didn’t you? Oh wait…Daddy was never pleased with anything you did. she picked up the shard, careful not to catch her fingers on it. “I never wanted to please daddy. Nothing I ever did was good enough for him. So I got smart and stopped trying.” All the more reason to end it Rose. There’s no daddy to please anymore. You don’t have to remain on this pointless earth anymore. You’ve lived a long, healthy life. It’s time to go Rose, you know this. it was true, she did need to go. For over more than a century, she’d wasted away on this earth. She’d stolen the lives of people without thinking twice. Rose had people dropping like flies around her. Just recently, she’d lost Inora. The funeral in itself wasn’t something fun to witness either. “I don’t need to listen to you. You’re a figment of my imagination, and I just think you’re there and you’re not.” That was a lie as well, was as real as night or day. She rose the shard of glass to her face, watching. Rose’s eyes reddened, almost on instinct. She squeezed her eyes shut and when she reopened they were back to their perfect blue. Am I not real enough Rose? she snarled, throwing the glass down, watching it shatter into smaller pieces. “Of course you’re not! I made the mistake of letting you control me for so long. You are not real, nor are you a part of me. You’re some sick twisted excuse I’ve had to have made up to console the fact that I killed my entire family. But I’m done running from my past, from everything.” Cute Rose, you think you can get rid of me? I am a part of you. Take your phone out, call Ali and tell her you’re going to kill yourself, by fire. Tell her you hope you remind her of poor Stephan. Come on Rose, you want to. a few more tears slipped past her eyelids, but she did as told. She scrolled to her speed dial, and chose her number. The ringtone went on and on, before going to voicemail. The sound of her voice made her want to hang up the phone right then and there. But the chances of Ali calling back, wanting an explanation; Rose swallowed as the beep sounded. “Ali…Ali help me,” she whimpered, pleading in her voice. “It’s back…and it wants me to kill myself Ali..Ali,” she choked on her voice, her hand resting on her forehead. “It wants me to burn myself to a crisp. I……it….I want it to remind you of Stephan,” she mentally collapsed, sobs extracting from her throat. “I’m sorry, Ali, I’m so sorry.” Good, now hang up you stupid fool. pursing her lips, while hitting the end button. “Why are you doing this to me? If you want me dead, why not just set me out in the sun to dry?” I like to torture you Rose. All it takes is one little button…and your mine. the image of Anthony popped in her head again, Rose swore. She jutted the blunt end of her hand into her forehead trying to drive the image away. It was almost as if it was a useless thing to do, it was burned in her brain. Rose, I’m about to show you a rare thing for me; compassion. I’ll give you one chance to take your anger on who you’re really angry at. Go ahead, I think this is a little overdue. The image flashed to another memory, the night Rose had met Anthony. Squeezing her eyes shut, she let herself relive it. When it was done, her stomach had dropped through the floor. Her watery and blubbery eyes were slits, as if she was half conscious. She was angry at him. Staggering to her feet, she headed out of the bathroom and into the depths of her closet. She had one picture of them together, they had only one time for a picture, and she vowed to keep it forever. But after he died, she couldn’t bear to look at it or have it out in her sight. Rose had to keep her promise though, refusing to burn it. The only place that there was a sanctuary was in her closet, where no one would see it. Yanking the picture from its tack, she ran her fingers over his face. The way his face curved so handsomely, his bewitching green eyes that sparkled with mischief. The way his hair hung so casually on his forehead, as if without purpose. His multicolored flannel, his strong arm wrapped around her tiny waist. Rose stared at the picture for several more seconds before screaming. The screams were of rage and pain, loud and obnoxious. “How could you leave me here? I loved you, I needed you! I still do,” in her rage she started to rip the picture into shreds, but not Anthony’s part. Just her own. “Why didn’t you come back for me? Why did you die on me? How could you?” she screamed again, falling on her knees, cradling the picture to her chest. “I just wanted to love you, I just wanted to be with you,” her body escaped with whimpers, as her head hung low. “And you left me. How could you just leave me here by myself? I can’t do this by myself,” she shook her head. “How do I get rid of this thing for good?” No answer crossed her ears. She shook her head, caressing the picture again. There really was no answer, was there? The thing in her quieted, but not for long. Feel any better Rose? All that pent up anger, such a waste… it was speaking in a mocking tone, fake concern and empathy. “You aren’t a part of me, you never will be. I refuse to acknowledge your presence. You’re not even real. I made you up so I would feel better about myself, when I was young. But I’m an adult now; I need to start taking responsibility for what I did. You were a mistake, and you’ll be gone. You don’t exist any longer, you aren’t controlling me anymore!” she clenched her hair in fists, screaming in agonizing pain. “You are gone forever. I am not what you are, you are not me and you never will be. I am stronger than this, this stupid façade and figment. You are nothing. I am better then you. You ever come to me again I’ll end the entire fucking vampire race.” Rose paused, waiting to hear a smartass reply. Nothing came, not a single breath of sound from inside her head. She really had gotten rid of it. The thing that possessed her mind and soul for so long was finally gone. It was all over. Taking a shuddering breath in Rose looked at the picture of Anthony and her, or what was left of it. She kissed the picture, tears coming to her eyes like an automatic reaction to his appearance. “I love you, I love so much. Nothing will ever change that I swear.” She slowly closed her eyes taking out the lighter from her back pocket. “I love you Anthony, but I have to move on. I can’t keep doing this, I can’t. I want to know what it’s like to love again, I want to be happy again.” She shuddered as the flame came through. “Please understand, please I’m begging you. I need to live again.” She let out a high pitched moan as she took the flame to the picture. It instantly ignited, warping in flames immediately. “I love you,” she said, her chest heaving as she dropped it on the wooden floor, the edges curling up. Her hands covered her face as her blond hair fell over it. Rose succumbed to the tears, not bothering to move, or doing anything. She had just given the love of her life away, the last memory she had of him besides his jacket with his scent. She would soon forget what he looked like then, forget who her love had been. She cried out, her throat scratchy. ----------------------------------------------- with a count 4653, while she’s wearing wearing this minus the purse. this post is best red and experienced best on this song responsible for muse