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Post by Josef Ibn-Abad on Jul 17, 2010 7:35:28 GMT -5
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He returned to the United States seventeen days earlier. In that time, the man reclaimed New York, ensuring his pack knew he was still in charge. Josef had given a standing order that his pack was to listen to Sombra, she was his mate afterall and apparently they did. That did not mean they were foolish. They observed everything. Including an encounter Sombra failed to tell Josef about, a fateful meeting between her and a Vampire by the name of Dante'. Jeremiah and Enda informed Josef that he had tried getting fresh with Sombra in a club, the two watching Sombra in Josefs leave. How was that fateful? Simply because there was now a standing order for the head of Dante'. Josef sent word to the New York Packs. The Alpha's of those packs sent work to the midwest, north east, south east, south west and north west. Alpha's in Butte, Montana; Seattle Washington; San Diego, California; Amarillo, Texas, New Orleans, Louisana and many other cities reiterated the order. Any wolf whom encounters the Vampire named Dante was to eliminate him immediately. The man lusted for his Mate. That was unacceptable. She had caused a lot of problems, Sombra that was. New York had toughed up but it irked many Alphas in the area. They did not trust her to keep order; especially running around with a shot gun all because she was angry with Josef. When word got around that Josef had returned, people breathed a sigh of relief. He took everything back over, reestablished his rule. All was right in the land that was New York City. Vampires also understood that the Top Dog was now home and would not tolerate stupidity. Vamps in New York follows his rules. Not their own. His feet were warmed by the sand though dusk was starting to settle in on the beach. Los Angelas was a pretty city. Tourism was a boom here but he was not here for Disney Land, the Boardwalk, the Hollywood Sign nor any other amity that the city had to offer. He had come to the West Coast for one thing and one thing alone. She chased him to New York twice. He chased her to New Orleans. She chased him to India and now he chased her to Los Angeles. This was Sombra's town. The Alpha's of Southern California knew of Josef's arrival. L.A.X. had been flooded with different wolves, all walking and scurrying about. Whether they were there because they knew Josef was flying in or for some other reason. Either way; people knew he was here. Was he going to pull a Sombra and strut around the city with a shot gun? Absolutely not. Guns were uncivilized in his opinion, though he would not hold back in using them when necessary. He preferred his strength, his agility. The smell of the salt on the air filled his nostrils as his eyes stared out over the horizon. Dressed in beige pants, white shirt, and flip flops, the glasses that had been worn, rested in the shirt pocket. He had not spoken to anyone except the cabi with a breif statement about going to the beach. On the flight, in the airport, even arrival here, he had not spoken. The man simply did not talk much. Back in New York, he grunted, growled and howled his orders. They knew what he wanted and the man had not needed to speak it, except for the Warranted Death of Dante'. The Alpha of New York City ensured his voice was heard with that matter. He missed his pack and had forgotten how loyal they were. Even when serving under Sombra, they still told him everything. Her stunts, her antics, the men whom thought they stood a chance with her. Everything. Dante' was an arrogant Vampire in Josef's Territory on a quick and fast paced toward meeting his own death. All because he hit on Josef's Mater. Sweat beaded on his face at the thought of Sombra. His body got hot these days; hot with regards for the woman. Not so much passion but a mixture of many different things. Lust, physical urges, mental stimulation, intellectual stimulation and the wolf inside wanting to come out and just be close. Josef was not only a vessel of flesh. He had never met an Alphess like Sombra. She was unique and needed to be treated as such. This day would so such. Josef was not in the safety of his territory in New York, nor the neutral grounds of New Orleans or Agra, India. He was in Sombra's territory and undoubtedly her pack was around. They were probably already watching him; wary of the man. He came as a conquistador but not for land but a heart. She would come. Alpha's always came to investigate new wolves in their territory. She assumed Josef would run and hide, that he did not care. She assumed he was some arab man. Look at him now. The scarf was gone, though not forgotten. It was still locked up in his New York home. His face had the look of a five o'clock shadow and he was less conservative in his looks. He was Josef Ibn-Abad. The Self Proclaimed Mate of Sombra Delgadillo.
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*sombra delgadillo
[b]xxlaLOBAxx [/b] ?What loneliness is more lonely than distrust??
Posts: 284
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Post by *sombra delgadillo on Jul 17, 2010 19:06:09 GMT -5
After returning to the United States, Sombra had felt the ache of defeat, something she was accustomed to. For some time she had been nursing the idea that in the case of Josef Ibn Abad she could win. After India she had realized there was no win in that situation. It would all be a losing situation. But however she had left things with Josef she had still had the capacity to walk away and that was something. Josef was an Alpha wolf, it meant he was used to getting what he wanted. She had half expected some sort of grand gesture, like confining her to a room until she cooperated. It truly would have been a mistake on his part. They had yet to make a room that could adequately trap Sombra. She tore them apart, from the inside out. As for the state of the New York pack when she'd left it, things weren't pristine. Then again he'd given her the ability to rip it to shreds. A hostile takeover by the Las Angeles pack would have been so easy. He'd make it adorably simple. But she hadn't. She hadn't harmed the pack in any way. True, the surrounding creatures far preferred Josef's civil rule to Sombra's feral, far simple way of doing things, but his territory was for the most part, safe. She hadn't cared about what the packs around New York thought. New York was not their concern, this diplomatic crap that Josef practiced? Obviously not her style.
Following the India incident, as she had decided to label it, she had cleared out her things at the small loft she'd been renting and left. She wasn't going to babysit his "children" any longer. They could do whatever the hell they wanted, however the hell they wanted. She didn't care any more. As she returned to los Angeles, she took up her permanent residence happily - a house just off the beach, but nestled into a private area. The wolves there were neither happy or sad about her return - they had known she would come back. Their alpha was far more dedicated than she lead strangers to believe. She had taken up her post there and even acquired a beta. This return triggered several things, one of which the security tightened - an incumbent alpha was to be protected, especially if she was an efficient one. She kept a low profile until it was confrontation and then she leapt in head first. She was a daredevil. For better or worse she had a nasty habit of not being afraid of the harm that could and probably would come to her.
She was bent over the hood of a '67 shelby mustang, the glowing black paint sultry and smooth, the smell of wax in the air. The she wolf was absolutely exhausted. She'd been working herself to the point of nearly beg unable to drive home. Some nights she'd slept at the shop, only to be woken by one of the wolves checking in on her. Anyway her attire had gone back to the way it was when she was working, a pair of ratty jean shorts, a black camisole over a red swimsuit and a pair of black athletic shoes. Yeah, she'd taken up running at night. Her arms chest and face were smudged with grease and the scent of gasoline was thick in the air. That probably could be the reason why she'd become so engrossed in her task. Something was up with the engine on this damn thing - at least that's what the owner said, said it kept flooding at the lights. Of course Sombra wanted to call him an idiot - most standard transmission cars before the eighties did that.
The prick however had had an attitude, so she was just as keen on taking his money, so she simply nodded and said she'd work on it. Realistically speaking…she was doing a temporary fix. It'd last a couple months and then bust again. And he'd come back pissed as ever. Besides that an hour before she'd been alerted that Josef had surfaced in L.A. And that….had pushed her over the Richter scale. She wanted to be left in peace. Josef had represented the last chance she had in the world. And he'd left her wordlessly. Like everyone else. That didn't mean his reasons weren't admirable, but he had proven he too would be like the rest. Or at least reminded her of them. And that was nearly unforgivable. Still, she ignored the fact that he was in her state, in her city. That is until he showed up at her shop. She didn't notice him at first, having bent into the hood of the car, him up to her elbows in grease, and Three Doors Down was blaring on the dusty stereo in the corner.
Turning as she finally caught a faint waft of his scent amongst the fumes, she faced him, cheeks flushed and and face smudged with the stuff. It wasn't that cute little single smudge on her cheek that seemed to be identical in every movie. She had it over her brow, on her cheek, on her lower lip and on the tip of her nose. As previously stated, she was practically swimming in the stuff. "What do you want?" she growled after walking over to the stereo and turning it down just enough to hear him and for herself to be heard. Kudos for questions with double meanings.
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Post by Josef Ibn-Abad on Jul 17, 2010 19:39:49 GMT -5
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It was obvious the woman spent the majority of her time in this hobble. His eyes gave the garage a glance around the man instantly knew he was out of his element. Fixing cars were not his forte' and he had always been man enough to acknowledge that. He knew what styles he like, what extra features he preferred but he could not change an oil filter, could not check fluid levels, the only thing the man knew how to do was fill up his gas tank and read the little signs that lit up on his dashboard when something went wrong. If it needed maintenance then he took it to a Jiffy Lube. Other than that, car maintenance were much like Sombra. He knew he liked her, lover her even, but did not know how to properly care for her.
He stood and simply watched, his full attention locked on her. she was in her element and seemed just at peace. Serene and angelic, she was a grease covered beauty. Taking her away from a place like this would be like taking a swan from a garden lake, so unnecessary and cruel. What right did Josef have to remove Sombra from anything? Did he even want too? Her independence and fierce attitude were two of the qualities that attracted him to her but that still did not mean she should not be treated with respect. Sombra was like every person. If you piss them off, don't expect a kiss goodbye.
She was his mate. The man had ensured every Alpha through the Contenintal United States accepted that fact. No one dared question.
But it did not mean Sombra accepted it. She probably heard the murmurs, the rumors that Josef already claimed her as his own. Perhaps that was one reason why she was just so angry with him. Of course the main thing was him vanishing but the man had to deal with his family on his own. Sombra could have defended herself just fine but this was where cultures clashed and this was were the two alphas needed to find a common ground. In Syria, a man dealt with his own family and did not drag his wife into it. He was the head of the household when it came to extended families. He dealt with Syrians the way Syrians should be dealt with and it ended the way it was destined too; Josef whooping ass. He had to learn however that he had to adjust to Sombra too. She should have gone with him. His own ignorance forbade it but she should have. That would have been the right thing too do in Sombra's culture, in the culture she built for herself. All Josef had done was reaffirmed her distrust in people. He failed.
The Alpha failed.
She would be left alone until things settled down between the two.
Without saying a peep, Josef began to pull himself from the door when she finally caught his scent. His chance of escaping without notice failed. He had stayed too long and the only thing that happened was what should have happened. She got angry and defensive. She was agitated, defensive and demanded to know what he wanted. Josef remained silent. Talking was still causing problems for him; whether from a depressed state or some undiagnosed physical ailment had not yet been known but the wolf inside of him wanted to come out, mingle with his Alphess, his mate. Josef, however, forbade it. Now was not the time. Would there ever be a time?
'To just be near you.' Was what he thought. However what he said was something completely different, "I came to apologize." Say wha? Josef Ibn-Abad actually apologizing with heartfelt meaning? It had slipped out. Was it a sign of weakness? To some it might have been. To him, it was a humility he needed to feel. He never apologized to Adela. Never apologized to his pack, to his family, to the wolves in India. He simply did not apologize; until now. She did not need extended explanations of why he did what he did. That was useless and unwarranted. "I'm sorry (my love) Miss Delgadillo."
My love was thought, not said and that was agonizing. She hated when he called her love. She did not want to hear it; at least he could think it.
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*sombra delgadillo
[b]xxlaLOBAxx [/b] ?What loneliness is more lonely than distrust??
Posts: 284
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Post by *sombra delgadillo on Jul 17, 2010 20:39:06 GMT -5
Sombra had squared her shoulders, her gaze having landed just as geometrically centered on the Syrian in front of her. As usual her eyes were cold, distrustful, vaguely annoyed. That was the way she was. Especially when confronted with the same problem over and over. Yes, Josef was seen as a problem - a pathological one. Its reoccurrence, his showing up, was what the annoyance was all about. And really annoyance was a nice way to say she was pissed at him for being here. She had left him. That was supposed to be the end of it. it was time for her to start moving on. It was time for her to let this part of her life go. This mad hope…it didn't belong to her. It belonged to people who deserved it. Apparently she'd been doomed from the start, so why fight the process now? If she had been able to hear his thoughts she probably would have killed someone. Honestly, wasn't he the most infuriating man she knew?
Her wolves had posed an interesting question, some of them paired off themselves. If you don't care about him…why does he bother you so much? They had witnessed the female in action with those she had never met before. And then they had heard accounts of what happened in New York and New Orleans. Vastly different responses. At least that's what they submitted. Sombra had promptly told them to go do something useful. And then there was that rumor. About her being his mate. She would have been even angrier if she actually thought she had been on the market to begin with. But since he wasn't sabotaging anything else he was only being a pest. Nearly burring her face in her hands, she sighed, eyeing him with some show of exhaustion.
I came to apologize. She had turned back to the car by the time this came out of his mouth, and she stopped, slowly straightening and staring skeptically. And then he continued. I'm sorry (my love) Miss Delgadillo. Miss Delgadillo? That was a step up from the shit he'd pulled in India. More than that. He'd apologized. Sombra wasn't sure how she felt about apologies. Generally she thought they were complete bull. She was so mad at him though. So mad. However…the remnants of Sombra that used to be. The Sombra that could have been.
Believed him.
A small growl slipped past her lips and she turned back to the car. "I'm sorry too, Josef." Though she wasn't saying exactly what she was sorry about. She was sorry for multiple reasons. She was sorry for him. Sorry he found himself pining for her. Sorry that she was so cold. Sorry she made him hurt the way she did. And sorry she didn't believe him. She was sorry. But that didn't change that she didn't believe him. Didn't change how cold she was with her icy heart to match the glare. She didn't get this way for no reason, and it didn't happen over night. One romantic gesture wasn't going to change who he was. But this…This apology. Was something.
She hadn't simply told him to leave. She had…apologized as well. He shouldn't have to suffer. Josef was a good man. He deserved happiness. Far away from her. She didn't give happiness. She was not a happy person. She didn't smile. She didn't make friends. She didn't…she didn't live. Not like most would. Life wasn't flowers and rose colored glasses. Life was hard. Constantly knocking her to her knees only so she could stumble back up and wail away at it…with her fists. He didn't need to be in this bloody fight she was waging. It wouldn't end well.
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Post by Josef Ibn-Abad on Jul 17, 2010 21:07:31 GMT -5
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What more was there to say between the pair. They both were sorry but quite possibly for very different reason. Josef was sorry for hurting her, hurting his mate. He needed her, craved her, desired her. He wanted to be her rock, her support. He wanted to let her be Sombra, to run free and if the day came and she needed help, whether she wanted too ask for it or not, he was there. He just needed to be there. Was that what all of this was about. Simple gestures meant nothing without consistency. That was the only thing Josef ever failed at, being consistent with Sombra. It was time she got what she needed; or what the Alpha thought she needed. He said nothing to her apology as there was nothing to say. Again, they both were sorry and why would the man ruin this civil setting by saying something that might have come out completely wrong? Why say anything at all? Words would only ruin this moment. Ruin everything. He was trying, at least it seemed she knew that. His throat began to tighten as he clenched his jaw. Josef knew what his body was about to do. He was in Sombra's territory, taking up Sombra's time. Unlike him, she had to work with her hands and she worked by the hour. She was a mechanic. If the job did not get done tonight, she would not be paid for it. Her job held more of an impact on her than his own. He could put a project off for a week or two. If Sombra waited a week or two to work on a car, it meant she lost business. Losing business meant no money. No money meant no food.
They were civil. Like New York and New Orleans. Why ruin that by taking up any more of her time. It simply was not fair to her. The tightening continued in his throat as he bit on his lower lip slightly. He knew he needed to leave for both of their sakes but why couldn't he? The butterflies appeared in his stomach though not from lust, not from anticipation but from nervousness and guilt. Sombra deserved better. A wolf whom understood her better than he ever could. The wolf inside wanted to whine in protest of what Josef was about to do but like always, the man controlled the beast. He let out a slow, deeply held breath. How many seconds, possibly minutes had past in absolute silence? He did not know, did not even bother to count.
He crossed a line in India for invading her personal space and got slapped for it. He understood the lines in the sand more clearly now.
All the man did was make the situation worse with Sombra. The harder he tried, the more damage was done. He just had to stop, had to back away. Sombra needed the one thing that Josef had never given her. Consistency... or so he assumed. Then his skin turned hot and his eyes began to cloud. It was instinct with what happened next. Taking his sun glasses, the man slid them on quickly, doing his best to ensure Sombra did not see the early signs of tearing occur. Josef Ibn-Abad never cried. Not over Adela. Not over his pack. Not over anyone.
Why now?
Clearing his throat to loosen the muscles and just before he made his leave, he spoke just one last line, "I'm at the Hilton in Universal City. Room 1712. Promise I won't cause problems in Los Angeles." He did not state how long he was staying or when he would be leaving; nor did he state what he would be doing for the remainder of his trip. Even Josef did not know. Perhaps he would catch a flight out to New York tomorrow, pay the fine and leave early or perhaps he'd just stay in his Hotel room, watching television, surfing the web and doing his best trying not to do what he'd always been doing the entire time; causing a headache for Sombra.
He left there after, emerging onto the darkened street. The tears rolled down the front of his face as the extremely low whimper of the beast within slipped out. The hotel was a good ten to twelve miles but for a fit wolf, even in human form, it was not much of a walk.
He did for Sombra what he did for no one else.
He admitted mistakes.
He apologized.
He was emotional.
-------------------------------------------------- count: 802 comments: Post reveals it all.
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*sombra delgadillo
[b]xxlaLOBAxx [/b] ?What loneliness is more lonely than distrust??
Posts: 284
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Post by *sombra delgadillo on Jul 17, 2010 21:44:48 GMT -5
Sombra wasn't a cold hard bitch. Well she was. But not the one that enjoyed people's pain. The she wolf was not sadistic, not at all. She simply wasn't masochistic either. How could she be…She knew pain. She knew suffering. She knew hurt…there was plenty of anger and hurt and pain. It was beautiful and poetic. But it also meant she was a bleeding heart, deep down in the crevices inside of her soul. Those feelings though, the sympathy, the are…they had been buried on purpose. They were to protect her from being beaten to the floor so easily. Since the world had had it in for her from the beginning…well…she couldn't afford to give it a leg up now could she? You know when you're a kid and you have those innocent years, before things get complicated? Sombra didn't have many of those years. Her life had always been complicated. Perhaps that was why she was always tired. All of that over processing took a lot of energy. She was constantly on hyper drive. Constantly pulling herself through another nightmare…another memory. But she wasn't a robot.
That pain I was mentioning? It wasn't always about her. It was for others as well. It was what made her an efficient alpha in the end. That bleeding heart of hers, it kept her from allowing her temper to take hold of her and make her do stupid things. She was bent over, tinkering with the engine once again while she listened to him shift in place and clear his throat. I'm at the Hilton in Universal City. Room 1712. Promise I won't cause problems in Los Angeles. And then he was gone. But she knew that sound. The ragged catch in his throat…Sombra didn't turn around to watch him leave. And she didn't run after him. She did find her own throat begin to close up, and her eyes begin to burn. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. A small sigh was breathing as she slammed the hood shut, turning and wandering over to radio. She turned it off and wandered out the front of the garage, pulling the door shut and snapping at her pack to take a hike. They dispersed promptly, going about their business without worry for their alpha.
She was the boss for a reason - she could take pretty good care of herself now couldn't she? Probably. He'd gotten about a mile and a half down the road before she caught sight of him. Her strides were somewhat longer given the comfortable footwear and her intent. She hated herself for following. Hated how soft it made her seem. How weak she seemed for having felt...whatever it was. She hated the connection, hated this part of her, her capacity to care whether he was crying or that she had hurt him. But she did. Damn it. A small sigh escaped her lips, still out of ear shot but if he looked back he'd have been able to see her. Ten minutes later she was behind him, and then beside him. The gesture was much less romantic than one might have thought it would be. I was sure I could hear your breath catching with hope. But Sombra...was still Sombra. However, her fingers did lace with his. This wasn't content to all of his maniacal ideas. But this was also something like forgiveness. He had failed her. That was true enough. More than once in fact. But who else had put in enough effort to do anything more than once? To try more than once...She didn't say anything, didn't explain herself, didn't look at him, simply allowed him to walk without breaking his stride, hand in hand. A precious scene. And both out of place. Sombra was about ready to curl into a ball and beat herself with a baseball bat. Idiot. This wasn't going to work...it couldn't. Nothing worked for her.
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Post by Josef Ibn-Abad on Jul 18, 2010 6:59:44 GMT -5
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Returning to New York would not have been such a bad idea. Had he been across the continents, opposite of Sombra, he could do his best to continue his a-typical life as a Bank Executive while running his pack and doing the thing that made him a famous Alpha; instilling harsh order on his city. His pack needed him, or so he kept telling himself. The man had not stopped the tears though they did not stream like a water fall. Every six or seven seconds a new one rolled down, dropping from the edge of his chiseled. Where it fell, he did not care. Most probably his pant, foot, or the ground depending on the stride. Tears were nothing something Josef liked to feel. He had shed none in Syria, none in India and he had felt none when Sombra had left the Asian country but that all changed when he felt the impact of his actions, his selfishness on Sombra.
He was no psychology major and Josef would never act as such. He knew his limits with knowledge but the man did observe; particularly Sombra. She was a defensive creature with advanced skills in survival. Her aura, or whatever Wolves called it, was empowering. Even Josef felt it when near her. That was an ability that most people, including Vampires did not fully understand - the Wolvin Aura. It as as though the will of the Alpha could be passed on and give their packmates a boost. Though it did not effect Josef, he felt it and he understood why she had been an Alpha. She was a survivor. She was a fighter. She was that lady under the hood of a car who could kick your butt from here to India and back non-stop if she had too. She could fight but that did not mean she actually wanted too. Josef had tried to be that rock that would not damage her, that would always be around. He failed.
Sombra was not a housewife. She was not Syrian. She did not come when he called, did not come when he demanded. She was not Adela, whom shadowed Josef everywhere (at some times that had been appreciated, others it had been quite irritating). When Josef was dealing with unruly Vampires in New York, support was appreciated. When he was in a business meeting or bringing a new wolf in his pack and he was being watched, that was irritating. The man, like Sombra, needed his space. Still, saying he was like Sombra would have been an incredibly ignorant thing to say. She was different from anything he ever encountered. Did it mean he would remove the claim of her being his mate? Well, no but she would get space. She needed it. That is just whom Sombra was.
Through all of this, his thoughts returned to New York and what he would do. Frustration was not something he liked to feel and often times reacted in illogical ways. Would he decide to expand his territory? Conquering up to Main and into Vermont and New Hampshire would have been easy. Taking Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Connecticut would be a walk in the park. Either their wolf packs were extremely weak and frail or they held no wolves at all. That would give Josef the largest territory of any Wolf in the world. The Entire North East would be his own except for Northern New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania (for now). So many decisions.
Then he heard the foot steps coming in. They were light and airy, the strides long and fast. The man made quick work to wipe any sign of tearing from his face before the figure was behind him. The problem. The breeze was coming at Josef; he could not pick up the oncoming persons scent. Within a flash, the person was beside him and tender, slender, soft fingers laced with his own.
Sombra.
The wolf stirred with excitement, Josef felt the beast force a change on him, to want to wag a tail, so slide his body against the legs to just be with her. Again, like many times before, this was not the time nor the place. That would be something the L.A.P.D. wanted to receieve, a woman walking the streets with her pet Wolf. That would have gone over just great. Instead, Josef simply walked, their hands intertwined. It felt good. Felt nice. She was warm, like himself and the man could feel his face temporarily flush.
Had this been New York a year ago, Josef would have suddenly gotten chatty and talked about anything and everything on his mind. Today was different. Josef was different these days. Sure he spoke when he needed but he did not ramble, not anymore. All of the thoughts of a conquest of the Northeast United States, taking of other East Coast wolves territories did not matter now; the anxiousness, nervousness, guilt and frustration all vanished as they strode side by side for what seemed like an eternity. He still maintained a course for his hotel though he had a self-respect for himself these days. Sombra deserved a man; not just another typical guy. Like every other night they had spent near one another; there would be no advancing on his part in a physical nature. There was more to their union than that.
The man would not ruin this in conversation, not in a heart beat. He simply allowed their silence, his feelings, his unspoken words to do all of the talking.
The duo simply walked, in complete silence.
It felt good.
It felt right.
He loved her.
-------------------------------------------------- count: 997 comments: I EDITED THE LAST PARA AND BROKE IT UP! I HOPE IT STILL MAKES SENSE. IF NOT TELL ME AND ILL EDIT LOL.
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*sombra delgadillo
[b]xxlaLOBAxx [/b] ?What loneliness is more lonely than distrust??
Posts: 284
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Post by *sombra delgadillo on Jul 18, 2010 23:31:11 GMT -5
Sombra was not a people person. Not in the slightest. She did not live to make others happy so much as she lived to live. She existed, generally, for the sole purpose of surviving, to prove her parents wrong. To not let Amber have died in vain. Though, she mused that Amber's death was not so much a sacrifice on Amber's part…but a failure on hers. Pushing such thoughts to the back of her mind, she breathed a slow sigh, coming into view of Josef. She wasn't absolutely certain about the reception she would receive. After all, it seemed he'd given up on her finally. Tears were never a good sign. Especially with men. Though for Sombra it was pretty standard. She made people cry. Though she rarely exercised her capacity to verbally disassemble others, they always seemed to be brought down by her general outlook on life. Go figure. She caught up to him then, her fingertips lacing with his ever so gently, the feel of her skin probably just a flutter before the onslaught of steady pressure or at least the firm contact of her palm pressed to his. It was something that Sombra wasn't quite accustomed to - human contact when she wasn't wrestling someone tot he ground and frankly she didn't know how she felt about it.
Their walk lasted for what seemed an eternity. An eternity spent in silence, walking through the night absent mindedly, in contented quiet and without the disturbance of explanation or the complication of it for that matter. She wasn't entirely sure what there was to be said to him at the present time. Wasn't sure how to work exactly what was going on in her head. She only knew that she hadn't meant to cause him such distress. On some level she supposed that she did care. Alright on multiple levels. But such a confession would surely mean her demise. A thought she could no more harbor than self destruct. Vulnerability was a no no to begin with. Walking into vulnerability? That seemed...an impossible feat. And an act of stupidity she could not stand. She could not entertain the thought of becoming his slave. Though he seemed to be dissuading himself from the notion of trying to control her, however much he clearly wanted to.
She wasn't entirely sure where they were going. Though she had a hunch and it made her weary. The hotel had many connotations to it. Mostly it meant that she'd surrendered to whatever this was and that the pack would have a great many questions come morning or whenever she next discussed the status of Josef Ibn Abad with them. What really was there to say? Not too much. That or there was just too much to say for anyone to know where to start. Though her bets were on Josef having the first say. The hotel was coming into view and Sombra could feel her apprehension take a turn for the worse. Her shoulders had tensed and she studied the image, weighing the gravity of the situation and just how much it would traumatize him if she refused to go in. Too soon though they were walking in the entry way and then through the lobby. What did he expect of her? Surely not what most would come to a hotel for...He had to be smarter than that. One attempt at the inappropriate and he would be eating filthy hotel carpet and she would have his body shipped to New York city in a duffel bag.
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Post by Josef Ibn-Abad on Jul 19, 2010 11:05:24 GMT -5
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The tension was rising, Josef could decipher, in Sombra. Something had suddenly gone different in her. Her muscles were tense in her hand and he assumed in the rest of her body. Had it been Josef, she would have been tense for the majority of the walk but it only occurred when the Hotel came into view and finally when they stepped through its doors. Why? Why would Sombra grow suddenly uneasy with Josef in a hotel. Then it hit him. 'Ooh.' Was the only thought he could muster while they boarded the elevator and he pushed the black number 17. Thanks to the time, hardly anyone was in the lobby and allowed both to get on by themselves. Again as the elevator rose, they remained in silence though Sombra's tension did not lessen. The muscles in her hand were just as tense as ever and all Josef wanted to do was smile. Even his wolf found the thought that she might be tense because she worried about Josef trying to get too friendly quite amusing. In the case of every other man, that might have been true. They would try and get Sombra someplace quiet, try and swoon her, then end up getting their arses kicked. Josef only wanted her company. He was different. Since meeting her, since claiming her as his mate, he had not slept with nor shown interest in anyone else. His body was dedicated to her and the bond was forming; the bond between a mated pair and though not solidified, it was still there. He would wait for as long as it took, as long as it took for Sombra to accept him. She was different and he adored that. Was he weak for having these feelings? Absolutely not. Every male wolf had them when they met their mate and when it came to Josef, he never showed this side of him, this gentleness around anyone else. That would have been a sign of weakness, if he went gaga googoo all over Sombra in public and in front of his pack. That would have been weakness. No, there were times and places to be affectionate. When in private; it was fine. When with his pack, the laws of his pack came first. He had to maintain order over them. Poppa Dog had returned to New York and people were still feeling the effects. Sooner or later some wise cracking woofy or vamp would openly express their desire for Sombras return because they could not stand Josef anymore. He would pity anyone whom said that; especially with what he would do. People would respect him. People would respect Sombra. The elevator doors slid open and the duo walked off, turning down the hall and directly to his room. Pulling his wallet free with his unused hand, he pulled his room key out, slid it into the door, watched the signal turn green and pushed the door open. Allowing Sombra to enter first, Josef followed, setting his key, wallet, and sunglasses on the nearest table. Without much word, he vanished into the restroom, the gave the entire room a quick glance around. It was clean. Room service having entered the Suite in his leave. The man just did not like stuff being moved. Next he moved over to the phone, the message light blinking. Picking up the phone, he dialed his room, his passcode and listened. 'Josef, it's Enda. No signs of him. Did you get to Los Angeles safe?' Freakin' Enda. There were reasons she was the lowest ranking wolf in the pack; she cared too damn much. She already knew he made it to Los Angeles, knew that he arrived safely. The only part of the message the Alpha cared about was that there were no signs of him. The Vampire named Dante'. He must have run off when the order for the hit went out. Good boy. Turning back around, he gave Sombra is full and undivided attention. "The walk was rather nice." The Alpha spoke, "But I wish to portray something to you. I do not want you feeling uncomfortable. I plan nothing for this evening, I never have." The reference obviously in regards to the possibility of him trying to bed Sombra. He loved her but he would never force himself on her. Oh no no no. He tried his best to give a reassuring smile. Funny. It came hard. It had been so long since he last smiled that the muscles in his face seemed to have forgotten how too. At least he managed a half grin. Short and sweet. He took a seat on the sofa nearest the window but his gaze never left Sombra. It was important. Alpha's were equal in nearly every way though some were stronger than others, some were faster than others, some smarter, some more resourceful. Still when it got down to the nitty gritty they were equal in a pack status. Dominates. Josefs culture demanded, threatened him, to not make eye contact with women. What culture did he have now? For so long he believed himself to be a Syrian with a wolf inside. He now realized he had been nothing more than a wolf living under a Syrians disguise. He was now full wolf. He followed all natural customs. Besides, locking eyes with Sombra was nice. Meeting his own equal was refreshing. "Miss Delgadillo, do you care for anything to eat?"-------------------------------------------------- count: 930 comments:
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*sombra delgadillo
[b]xxlaLOBAxx [/b] ?What loneliness is more lonely than distrust??
Posts: 284
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Post by *sombra delgadillo on Jul 20, 2010 18:24:06 GMT -5
Honestly if Josef had known from the start what the tension was about he probably should have reassured her sooner than he did. She spent the entire ride in the elevator stressing about the moment she flew off the handle, slapped him and rode back down to the ground floor just so she could storm out. It seemed that defeat was imminent though she couldn't decide who the loss would best be credited to. Would it be hers? Or his? Did it really matter? Not particularly but it still was comforting to try to direct the blame if she was going to be angry. The silence was baring down upon them, and while Josef did not seem to mind it so much Sombra had grown painfully aware of it. Painfully aware of the fact that at any given moment she would have to push him away yet again. Was it a fault in her morals? She immediately thought that couldn't be it. No way in hell was it wrong for her to decide when and where she gave it up. She could not read minds, however smart most deemed her to be she was still incapable of sifting through the thoughts of others.
Which was unfortunate in retrospect - his thoughts would have reassured her of his good intentions. While it was no fault of Josef's, he had the appearance of a man who could be kind one second and a very bad man in the next. Perhaps it was the facial hair. Perhaps it was the definition of his jaw, or the slant of his gaze. What Sombra had pegged it as was his power, the way he commanded attention and respect. It was a bit vexing to have to acknowledge these things in another soul, it bore down on her pride. Was it impossible for there to be someone else as worthy as she? Not necessarily. Was it impossible for her to admit it? Probably. A grim fact but why lie? Breathing slowly through her nostrils, she did not dare look at him at present, fearing her eyes would utterly give away her suddenly very standoffish demeanor. She suddenly felt about ready to be in a fist fight.
With him?
Not necessarily.
But someone was gonna feel the hurt.
While Josef spent the ride thinking of their positions, Sombra spent it in angst. Finally the doors slid open and the room came into view. He unlocked the door and she slipped in after him. He moved to check his messages while her gaze rounded the space they were now confined in. It was an appraising look, not condescending, per say but somewhat amused. Leave it to Josef to find a posh suite to stay in in humble California. He put the phone down moments later and addressed her, planting his gaze on her. It still took a little adjustment as he'd spent so much time avoiding her stare. The walk was rather nice. But I wish to portray something to you. I do not want you feeling uncomfortable. I plan nothing for this evening, I never have. The old Sombra, the child, would have blushed furiously at having been so transparent. But the she-wolf that presently lead a pack? She simply narrowed her pupils and nodded solemnly.
A bit less amusing than if she had blushed, but it served its purpose - she understood the jest. And was not entirely convinced. Perhaps that as arrogance. But she would rather apologize for her assumptions later than feel the sting of disappointment when her high hopes were carved. He sat down at the at point but still managed to keep his stare on her. Something which she rewarded by sitting on the lounge chair across from him. Miss Delgadillo, do you care for anything to eat? The lycan stared at him for a long moment and shook her head. "No, but I do prefer Sombra to the formalities." Perhaps the most eloquent her speech had been towards him, the hint of a larger vocabulary than she generally let on slipping through. The hints of the hidden intellect. But her plain speech made it far easier for her to communicate to her subordinates if she spoke in a language they too spoke in. Eyeing the man across from her, she shifted her weight, kicking off her shoes and pulling her legs underneath her.
"Your pack is glad you're back." Even if he'd taken over New York again she had received word down the grapevine of his celebrated return, their packs having grown accustomed to mingling between. Some were still friends, thus the communication had not ceased entirely. She did not try for further small talk though - fairly incapable of the stuff. Generally it was the one she was facing that did most of the talking and Sombra communicated via the expression of her face, her posture and her general aura. Ah, sign language.
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Post by Josef Ibn-Abad on Jul 20, 2010 18:54:15 GMT -5
"They are." Josef replied bluntly. Even if his love was not hungry, he was. Domino's Pizza would be ordered on the eve, if for no other reason than the fact that it was the easiest restaurant to order from as their number was plastered across his hotel room key. "A bit uneasy right now. Having gone," touchy subject with Sombra. Josefs disappearance was probably best avoided, "and then returning..." he had to be careful, "honestly, I missed them like I've missed certain people." The hint was there, he missed Sombra most of all. "They are still readjusting to my return. I've implemented a few new laws that have become harder for them to adapt too than normal."
He paused as his gaze left Sombra and turned to glance out the window and across Sombras entire territory. It was vast. People could say what they wanted about New York City and how much land Josef controlled but when it came to sheer mileage, Sombra had him beat. She did not just have Los Angelas but all of it's suburbs and neighboring cities. Her scent, her rule was all over the place and even the man felt the power she portrayed. Alphas were different when in their own territory. They were stronger, emboldened and dangerous. This was Sombras territory and he would be respectful to its Alphess.
"Honestly," he said turning his gaze back to her, "I've felt a change in them. Something different. Almost as though I'm not the Alpha they need anymore." It was strange, even Enda had changed with regards to Josef. He could sense it. The connections between the two packs were strengthening with each passing day the two Alphas were together. He knew his pack spoke to them, knew they communicated with Sombra's lowers but oddly, the Alpha did not care. They talked. It's just what some wolves did. The problem was, were they two packs, one on each coast or one pack just split? If so, who ruled them? If they needed Sombra, they would have Sombra. It was a strange feeling. Was he rolling over for Sombra? Not a chance. New York was his territory but if his pack was no longer his, they were more than welcome to leave for Sombra's.
"I can force myself, make them obey as I have always done but I've never been the one to make my wolves stay. If they want to leave, they can leave. At least these would have the decency in telling me. Not like Adela and the others the last time around." He paused just for a second while trying to figure out just how to phrase it, "If you get a few calls in the coming weeks of wolves wanting to move into your territory, don't be surprised." there it was. The warning that the majority of his pack might be moving to Sombra's territory. She would not have to worry about pack fighting, he had taught them well enough to respect another packs hierarchy just as he respected Sombras authority here.
This would mean Josef would be the lone wolf in New York City, protecting his territory on his own until a new pack could be reformed. What happens though if Sombra wanted it for herself? What if she returned to New York as a conqueror but this time did not leave with Josefs pack, casting aside any feelings she had for his turf. This were all thoughts typical to a wolf. Unless a mated pair, every wolf was suspicious to some degree of the next wolf over. "Im not saying you have to accept them or asking that you do. Just giving you a heads up from one dominate to another to not be surprised if you have four strays show up at your cities doorstep."
He was winded again. The most he had talked in a single sitting in a very long, long time. His feelings for Sombra mixed with the uneasiness of openly admitting to another Alpha that his pack might be leaving on their own then the idea of having to defend New York on his own... it was all a bit much. Could the man defend such a large city on his own? Probably not but if any wolf wanted it from him, they'd have to bring a hell of a lot of support. He would not go down without a fight that would most assuredly cost the conquering wolf dearly. "How about your pack? Are they happy of your return to Los Angelas?" He kept his tone quiet and calm. He was a gentle giant with Sombra, a man whom would not lay a unprovoked finger upon her. "And it is great to see you again," he paused, "Sombra." it was so strange calling her by her first name but he obliged. He loved being in her presence but it was more than some butterfly in the stomach thing, this was real.
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*sombra delgadillo
[b]xxlaLOBAxx [/b] ?What loneliness is more lonely than distrust??
Posts: 284
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Post by *sombra delgadillo on Jul 20, 2010 19:53:08 GMT -5
Sombra listened to his words stoically at first, her eyes quiet and without emotion…at least for the most part. She disliked the sudden sensation that he felt unstable. It made her immediately feel the need to pick up the slack. They are, he affirmed quickly, A bit uneasy right now. Having gone, and returning, honestly I missed them like I've missed certain people. And Sombra did catch the inference, but breezed over it without a second though - she had yet to believe that, the recollection of him just being gone still a wound so fresh it oozed pain, anger and the blood of her heart. She wasn't addressing them at present. She was exhausted. And the most exhausting part of their situation was his decisions to vanish without a trace. It had obviously been a mistake on his part. A lapse in judgement, at least those how she was consoling herself as far as that decision went. They are still readjusting to my return. I've implemented a few new laws that have become harder for them to adapt to than normal.
She nearly snorted - laws were set for a reason, it was not for the pack to shift in discomfort over them. They were to accept orders without question unless the option of feedback was put forth beforehand and she sincerely doubted that he had given them that. Sombra's rule was quite different than Josef's, who seemed far more sensitive to the members' and their thoughts on situations. Sombra had only two clearly stated rules - one, vampires were not to be taken in, two, the laws she put forth were made for their own good, if they wished to be considered part of the pack and within the pack's protection they listened to the obligations set forth. Still she did not raise this point to his attention, merely let him continue speaking. Honestly, I've felt a change in them. Something different. Almost as though I'm not the Alpha they need anymore.
Again the she wolf had to resist the urge to snort in disbelief - she did not believe the statement in the slightest, not at all. I can force myself, make them obey as I have always done but I've never been the one to make my wolves stay. If they want to leave, they can leave. At least these would have the decency in telling me. Not like Adela and the others the last time around. Of course him bringing Adela up struck a nerve…and so did the mention of "the others". Ah Mercer…she frowned quietly, her gaze slanting away. They had vanished and it was disheartening. Pushing that thought from her mind, she focused on what he was saying, yet again. How about your pack? Are they happy of your return to Los Angeles? And it is great to see you again, Sombra.
The woman studied him, almost skeptically for a moment, as if deciding what exactly was an appropriate response to all the information she'd suddenly been given. "Your pack belongs in New York. Bunch of suits couldn't run with the cowboys over here." She was dismissing the idea of his pack abandoning him. A bunch of people who would run off and leave their alpha stranded? They were not welcome in her dominion. Though saying that aloud seemed snobbish when in reality she had a right to be decisive about those in her midst. "Did you miss me?" Perhaps he had said it before. But Sombra listened only to what she was willing to addressed at any given moment and she had not previously allowed him to be heard on that front. She was being completely serious in the present instance though, her gaze having wandered to stare out into the night displayed through the window.
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Post by Josef Ibn-Abad on Jul 20, 2010 21:04:52 GMT -5
Sombra was pointed. Sombra was direct.
Sombra was serious.
He was use to all three but never at the same time. Very rarely did Sombra speak to Josef in such a manner that even the wolf inside stopped stirring and that mixed with the type of question she asked, the specific question she asked, could have brought Josef too his knees. He had always been in the seat of power. He had always... always... been the dominate wherever he went and in this one moment, and with one question, Sombra had taken charge. It was humbling and there was only one way Josef could show that he truly was a man. He would need to show his humility. He would need to be honest with Sombra. Should he try and lie, Sombra would catch him in a milisecond.
What the man realized that this was the most important question he had ever been asked. The answer to this question would solidify or destroy anything and everything between the two Alpha's in this hotel room. This question was more important than when he was asked if he took Muhammad on as the one true Prophet as a youth. This question was more important than when he was asked what his college major would be. This question was more important than when he had to decide Adela Jagers fate in the eyes of the New York Territory. This question was more important than when he had to decide his familys fate, his own flesh and blood. This question was everything and more.
Sombra and Josef had known each other fourteen months. Josef had known this woman and upon first meeting her, things felt different. His mind was clear, his attention focused. The thing that was most facinating. When he had been around Adela, he was weaker. She was a liability, in the most respectful way to state such. He had to watch her, his pack, his business, and his territory. An Alphess was to be an equal. She was to be to him what he was to be to her. Sombra was the first female he ever encountered that could stand toe to toe with him. She knew what it was like to fight. She knew what it was like to break a bone. Sombra knew what it was like to have to manage wolves, survive on her own, to fend for herself. She was a survivalist.
He was not inhibited by Sombra but empowered. The connection between Alpha's was too strengthen both. They were there when needed, when they had to be. They were loyal, protective while being able to fend for themselves. They were stronger, more dominate and more dangerous. They were most importantly Alphas.
Within seconds of her asking, he responded. "Every day." Honest. Direct. Again, his response was different from other men. Guys might have added on some none sense about needing to be near her body, her beauty or possibly say whatever cheap hallmark line would get them into bed. In fourteen months of knowing Sombra, Josef had never tried to seduce Sombra. He never tried to find some slick way into her inner self. He never tried tricking her, never tried forcing her, never tried to make her do something she did not want. Josef treated Sombra the way Sombra needed to be treated.
With absolute respect.
She needed a dominate. A wolf. She needed a mate whom treated her with equality. There would times when her mate would have to take charge, times when she would need to take charge and times both ruled equally. That was the wolf way. Unfortunately most wolves never understood that aspect. Still, any man might have been driven mad having to wait for a woman. Josef was not just any man. Sombra was his mate. A true mate, a loyal mate waited for as long as needed to be accepted.
"I truly did." Again pure, simple and honest. He missed his mate. The man answered the most important question of his life with absolute honesty. His eyes never wavered from her, "I love you, Sombra."
Even he realized the huge Uh Oh he just made as soon as her name finished whispering from his lips. His feelings were true but that was probably not what Sombra wanted to hear on this evening. She had him is he missed her, not if he loved her.
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*sombra delgadillo
[b]xxlaLOBAxx [/b] ?What loneliness is more lonely than distrust??
Posts: 284
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Post by *sombra delgadillo on Jul 20, 2010 21:43:05 GMT -5
The female was a paradox, a great many things all at once and unapologetic for any of them. She was only the way she was, not for any specific reason that could be pinpointed….But in any case she was those things, for better or worse. Those around her adjusted, Sombra did not. There was a short silence between her question and his answer, almost too short. Every day, he remarked quietly, silent for only a moment before continuing. I truly did. She nodded quietly, working to hold the impulse to snort in disbelief at bay. She shifted in place, breathing a quiet sigh. I love you, Sombra. The woman did not move, and for what seemed to be an eternity she did not exhale. She appeared frozen in place, her features ticking to the side as if he'd slapped her. The Alpha female had flinched away from his words as assuredly as a physical punch. Her eyes…burned, and her stomach turned over as if he had aimed a well placed kick there.
Her breath had been knocked out of her and she exhaled slowly. Her shoulders had sunk with the weight of those words. Her skin had begun to feel cold and her psychy? Trapped…She felt the cage of it beginning to close in, the memory of the last person who whispered that to her beginning to suffocate her even as she sat there safe in the hotel room. She was struggling to continue breathing normally. Sombra's eyes were trained on the distant lights outside the window. She couldn't look at him right now. Not when Amber was staring back into her eyes. The little girl's cheeks were sunken in, her eyes appearing distant in her equally chasmic eye sockets and the spirit had been stolen from her irises. She'd been so week in those last hours, her stomach distended from the lack of nourishment.
The she-wolf's mouth was slightly agape and she stood abruptly. "I…have to go, Josef." One, Sombra did not cry. Two, when she did cry it was not in front of anyone. Especially the one who had induced the tears. She immediately forgave Josef his blunder…that did not change the fact that she had to be far away from him now. She had to squeeze out from between the bars of this newfound cage. Right now. She had to be out of here. She had strode out the door, not bothering to close it and begun to take the stairs down - incapable of waiting for the elevator. She was leaping several stairs at a time, having left her shoes there. Even still she had managed to get down the steps.
But her feet were bleeding. And sore…already bruising from the exertion but she walked out the lobby…more like jogged and proceeded to walk back to the shop where she managed to shift and curl in one of the back rooms, up against a pile of gears. Her nostrils were tucked beneath her tail, her body trembling as she stared blankly against the wall. Wolves were posted outside - not to allow anyone, under any circumstances through. And they wouldn't. They stared into the darkness of the street, well into the dawn hours and then took shifts. She hadn't slept yet, but she had shifted again, put yesterday's clothes on…and begun tinkering with the car again, dismissing her guards with an exhausted sigh and a shooing gesture of her hand. Life goes on..
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Post by *Casimir Goetschl on Jul 20, 2010 22:07:11 GMT -5
Four Days Later
The two black Ford Explorers streamed through the streets, swerving past cars, sliding through reds and otherwise ignoring every traffic law established by the State of California to prevent accidents. The first of the two acted as the clearance, its lights were flashing in the front and back windows and the siren was on, though on a lower tone than a typical Los Angelas Police Department squad car. In the second S.U.V., Casimir Goetschl sat, two thick folders on his lap, each with a specified name on it. The first belonged to Josef Ibn-Abad, the Alpha of New York City. The second belonged to Sombra Delgadillo, the Alpha of Los Angelas. The Agent had experiences with both Alphas and perhaps that was why the Bureau had brought him in from London. Honestly, this was a job more suited for a Agent in L.A. but given the gravity of the situation at hand and the experience Casimir held with each, they Government thought experience trumped local. A two am wake up, a four am red eye and a fourteen hour flight later, the man landed at L.A.X and was immediately handed the two files, put in the second S.U.V. and driven to the location of the first Alpha.
Sombra.
The tires of the vehicles suddenly came to a screeching halt, the sirens of both vehicles now blaring as Casimir dropped the files on the car floor and hopped out. The Mechanics shop, the only known location of Delgadillo was simple in nature but her scent was on ther air as were several other wolves. "Head too the back, I'm going through the front." He ordered the two agents in the first S.U.V. Goetschl motioned for his drived to watch the vehicles while he pulled his shield from his wallet and walked up the garages main entrance.
The last time he had seen Sombra had been back after his first turn; when the man could barely control his shifting, control his animal instincts. He had broken into her home, she had chased him away. He understood that Sombra may not have been happy to see him but if the intel he had been given about her was correct, she would at least listen and hear him out; especially with what was at hand. "Sombra Delgadillo. It's special Agent Casimir Goetschl." he would need to speak fast. She was a fast woman and given that he could not spot her in his immediate line of sight, it meant she could quite literally be anywhere. "I've come at the behest of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. It's imperative that I talk to you now." His voice had stiffened but he understood whom he was talking too.
"I know our last meeting was not under the best circumstances and I apologize but I have firm reason to believe that You and your pack are in immediate danger." He paused momentarily, "I also believe the New York pack is in danger. Specifically Josef Ibn-Abad. I need you to come with me because I have someone sitting in our downtown field office whom we suspect to be apart of this plot. She was picked up arriving in Los Angelas yesterday." His eyes gave the room a glance about but still Sombra was not seen. His voice expressed panic but was respectful. The man was not an Alpha. He was not even a Beta. The lone wolf of London knew that unless a Alpha was given the respect they commanded, they would be uncooperative. That and at any time Sombra could reveal to the Bureau that Cas was a wolf himself. That was something he could not afford to let slip out. "I need your help. Please. If not for your own safety then do it for Josef."
He was grasping at straws, hoping the report of a slowly developing relationship between the two that was stated in the reports was accurate. If he could get her in the London Field Office he could ensure her safety while she would be able to read the suspect better than he could. It was beneficial in two ways. "I would not be here if it was not absolutely necessary, trust me!"
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