Are you sure you're ready? {SG}

[*♥ Helena Kyle ♥]

Everything was dark. Candles spread throughout the front portion of the church. The alter. The cross. Here and there a soft chill would pick up as she walked down the aisle past pews and quoted tales of the good book. Suddenly the good book was not so good in this case.
The confession booth was darker. Placing knees upn the small stool and the priest behind the other side had slid the small door to the side. "Forgive me father for I have sinned. It's been two weeks since my last confession."

He knew her well. She had been going there for assurance since she had moved to New York. Back home, there was someone who knew what she was. Helped her maintain her balance. This man, this....priest.....he knew too. They had been informed by her previous church and there was nothing but acceptance. Holding her secret of what she was in plain darkness and letting it simmer there until it couldn't any longer. Her secret was safe.

She closed lids and could see his face. If only there was something more that could help her make up her mind. This would be her last resort. "I've been having impure thoughts. Captivated by someone who could very well urge me on to push my beliefs aside. Like a craving that I can no longer push to the side and ignore." Her accent so delicately drawn out as if she were made of pure elegance. She didn't want to cry. She couldn't cry.

"I came nearly close the other night." She wouldn't mention the mortal who was now decomposing beneath the soil. Not anytime soon. "I've condemned myself to this life of purity for centuries, and this.....man.....he's the closest thing to love that I have ever known."

She could feel the tears start to well up. "I can not do it any longer, nor do I think I wish to." A confused look over facial features, and as she kept her eyes down to her own world, the priest went on about marriage and sex and love. In her case, he hadn't a clue. She was made from God once. Mortal in her previous life, turned by force and pushed into a much darker portion of the light. In the end, he urged her to do what was best. What was in her heart. For if they truly loved one another, the time would come, and the choice was up to them both.

It felt like everything she had hoped for was tossed out of the window. What she wasn't sure about, she was even more confused.

Three hours later, ten o' clock or so she had finally called him. She called Shaden and left a message for him telling him that she would be out in the hills by the lake, and he was more than welcome to join her. Even during her awkward phase of facing him and being confused as to what she was going to do or say, she had kept her composure.

The car she drove was decent. It wasn't often Helena drove. Not because she couldn't, but because she didn't like to drive. It just wasn't her thing. It was a classic Caddie with chrome trim and a nice Midnight blue interior. The outside had been Midnight blue as well, with hints of sparkles. At the right catch of light it would often look black or dark purple. It was the complexity of the paint job that pulled off the look. A big steering wheel. Wide seats. Powerful engine. Maybe she would give it to Shaden so he could drive her places and go have fun. Did he even have a car?

That one she had taken from a victim that she had recently drained. A little snack to hold over her appetite. No one special. He wouldn't be missed.

She tossed her shoes off, throwing them into the backseat to fall on the floor. Letting her purse sit beside the shoes, and her hair. She let her hair down and swung strands as fingers ran through locks of vivacious chestnut. Full of body.

The lake looked beautiful at that hour, and she was glad she had decided to go. View the twinkling stars. The seemingly fresh air, and the trees in beautiful mother nature. Admiring it from the edge of the lake, wanting to take a dip and relax in the water. It had been a long time since she had went swimming.

[Shaden Grace]

The words on the page were hand written. His writing. His words. His past. Shaden was sitting sideways in a rather comfortable chair. His legs hanging over the armrest while his back rested against the other. His old journal there in his lap, opened up to some random page. And soft sea glass orbs read the words as if they were from someone else's' life. However, this didn't actually trick his mind. He still knew what he read was from his life, and it caused a slight pain inside him. But he read on anyway, knowing each time he read it he grew a little stronger. A little more immune to the pain.

Normally at this time he'd be out with Helena or just wandering, trying to find some trouble to get into. Tonight though he wasn't much in the mood for causing trouble. In fact he really didn't know what he was in the mood for. He stopped reading, leaned forward and placed the journal on the coffee table in front of the chair. A sighed was realized through lips as he leaned his head against the back of the chair.

He was thinking about Helena. How could he not think about her. Especially after the other night they had shared. I love you.. her words. So softly spoken wouldn't stop repeating themselves in his head. Of course whenever he thought of her guilt was never too far behind. He had no right to love her. Not when he felt so strongly for Sevanni, and not when he never been in a fully committed relationship. He loved her, and she loved him, but did that make it right?

Doubt, he decided, was a cruel thing. It played with his mind, and twisted and confused his thoughts until he no longer knew what to think. He wanted her. And he could have her. She felt just as deeply for him as he did for her, however he'd never ask her to give herself up for a bastard like him. Helena was pure, and he was... not. Far beyond pure. A truly damned thing. He liked that though. He enjoyed being the cruel son of bitch everyone had always wanted him to be. With her, however, he felt none of need to be cruel, he didn't feel like himself, but something better then himself. He realized with her that he could he compassionate, that he could love without needing to have anything but her love in return.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, but he didn't answer it, instead he allowed it to go to voice-mail, not wanting to be disturbed in this moment of silence he maneged to get. But when it beeped at him, alerting him, that he had a message, he took the phone out. And of course, he had been Helena. It was simply telling him that she would be out in the hills by the lake, and that he could join her if he wanted. He put the phone away, and stood. This was one of those things that required no thought. Even though he hadn't really wanted to leave, he happily would go if he meant seeing her. He grabbed his keys and left the house. He jumped into the seat after hitting the button for the doors to open, and then pressed again so they would close. The Lamborghini purred to life, and he took off, moving faster then he should have.

Shaden wasn't a show off or anything like that. He simply had a taste for the Italian made cars. They had a passion for building something beautiful and full of speed. Of course he could never reach its top speed. Not here in New York, but that wasn't the point. He just liked the style of it. He was there in less time then he should have been. He parked the car and got out. Not bothering to even take the key from the ignition.

His steps were nearly silent as he walked toward her. God, she looked beautiful. Once he reached her he gently wrapped his arms around her waist. There were no doubts when he was with her. And his mind was finally at peace for the first time that night. He kissed her cheek, his lips only lightly touching her skin even though he wanted so much more.

[*♥ Helena Kyle ♥]

This had been the night. The night that she had confided in her priest. Where she came to think about what it was she truly desired. After the other night, how could she not think? How could she not want to begrudge her God and go with her heart instead of her head? Both heart and head could be heard with pounding drums that screamed out at her. A few strands floated out into the air. Those strays that the wind caught pushed back by middle and ring finger, tucked behind her ear. It would happen again. Those stray strands. It always did.

She wasn't sure if Shaden would come. She had gotten his voice mail, which meant he was either busy, or he didn't want to talk to her. She had nearly blown a mental when he told her about his blood letting with Sevanni. It seemed that no matter what, her life was meant to be tied to him. Damien, Sevanni, now Shaden. She swore he had done it on purpose to hurt her. Maybe he hadn't. But why would he have gone and let Sevanni mark him?

She had pushed him away with gentle hands, blood tears of sensual pleasure and pure heart filled happiness flooded her entire being, but she had pushed him away with grace and let tears flow fresh of pain and sadness. Words were exchanged, some explanation was needed on why, and even though she heard his words, it didn't mean she was happy with it. But it was something that she would have to deal with, for she loved him more than anyone she had ever loved before, and if it was truly love, they would overcome the obstacle.

At least he told her. He could have kept it a secret and never uttered one single word to her. Finding out in the end would have killed her to no avail. A devastation she was sure she couldn't bare. Not after letting herself open up to him more than she had with another.

She heard a car pull up, no head turn. But she picked up a scent. His scent. Arms crossed over her chest as she looked out over the water. He was getting closer. She could feel it. Lids lowered slightly, then his presence was upon her with such a gripping form of solace.

She felt his arms slip around her, her own hands moving to conform over his skin. The soft touch of him made her think of baby lotion. Tilting her head after he softly kissed her flesh. Nuzzling into him as she let her lids finally fall closed. "I didn't think you would come." She didn't need to see him to know it was him. That touch alone made it all clear. His scent. How she missed his scent, that voice, that touch that made her melt into liquid vampire.

She was glad he showed up. Glad that he was touching her and knowing that he wasn't displeased with how she had reacted.

She told him she needed time to think. Time to let it all sink in. All day she stayed in her place, laying in bed with blood stained sheets from consecutive tears. Wanting to tear herself to the phone and just hear his voice. even if it was his machine, she could still hear him.

She had taken first leave. Pulling her dress on, looking back between the door frame to see him one last time that night. With all her passion pushed to the surface that night, it had been the downfall of their current relationship. Bloody hell, she wasn't even sure what they were. It was never declared they were an actual couple, but it had felt like that because of how they were with one another.

"I acted so dreadful." Not entirely the truth. She did storm out in sadness and grief, but she had raised her tone in harshly swallowed tears as if his words ripped her apart from stem to sternum.

Her body turned towards his, not wanting his arms to fade from her body. "Will you ever forgive me?" Spoken to him softly with care and thought. It should have been the other way around, but he had come to her. He had shown her without words that he truly did care. Maybe she was just a fool, but she loved him with all of her dark little heart and more. So much more so that she was about to..........

[Shaden Grace]

Shaden had been slightly worried that she would pull herself from his arms, that she wouldn't want to be touched by him right now. But instead her own hands moved over his skin, and she tilted her head back. Her eyes were closed, but he didn't need them to be open to know what color they were, and how they reminded him of summer leaves and watching them change shades in the fading sunlight. "I didn't think you would come." Her voice was so sweet, filled with the caring he really didn't deserve at the moment. "Of course I came." He said softly, "I missed you." Her tears of pain and sadness that night would have killed had he not already been dead.

He eyes looked out over the lake, taking in natures beauty, that somehow seemed dulled with his goddess in his arms. He had a strong feeling nothing would ever compare to her. He knew that threw out all the women he'd been with, no one had made him feel so whole; so completely within himself. She had needed time. Sadly it wasn't the first time he'd heard those words. However, unlike last time, she welcomed him. His Helena. So accepting.

She had left first, and he had let her go; not really knowing if it would be the end for them. He had come very close to chasing after her, not wanting her to leave his side should they never see each other after that. But had controlled himself, just barely considering the amount of passion she had maneged to awaken in him only moments before.

"I acted so dreadful." He slowly shook his head. "No, you took it better then I thought you would." His head turned so now lips were pressing light little kisses along her skin, "I thought you would never want to see me again." He kept his voice soft, trying to hide the pain and quilt he felt. It had hurt her, but at least he had told her. Shaden didn't want to keep secrets from her; unless it was for her own good that she didn't know, that is.

His head lifted as she moved, turning her body towards him. His arms never let go of her. "Will you ever forgive me?" No.. she wasn't asking him that. She couldn't be. He felt the tears threaten to fall from sorrow filled eyes. "Oh love, I have nothing to forgive you for." She was much too good for him. "I let him mark me in a moment of weakness," And desire, "And didn't stop to think about how this would affect you. How it would affect us." His arms tightened around her just a little more. "I should be the one asking for forgiveness." Sadly he would always be asking for her forgiveness because he would always want Sevanni too. Sevanni and Helena are on two completely different levels. He simply couldn't help but want them both. "I love you, and I don't want to hurt you." But he would. Maybe not until years down the road, but someday he would hurt her. Of course he wouldn't mean to, however, that's just how life usually treated him. He could never be happy for long.

He glanced out over the water again, and then back to her. He smiled faintly, only the corners over his lips briefly turned up, "How would you like your own island?" He asked, attempting to rid his voice of the guilt and pain. He was, of course, talking about one of the many islands here in New York. The region took its name from the more than 1000 islands that dot the lake and river along this international waterway. And he had recently bought one of them. The previous owner had mysteriously found drown outside her own home. He had the deed and everything with him.

He had hoped it could become their own place for when they met at nights, and then he could sleep at Sevanni's during the day. Although he knew she had her own place, so he wasn't sure on her answer. He wasn't asking he to give up her apartment or anything. But the island could provide a lot of privacy for them. Hell for all he knew Sevanni was having him watched or something. "I thought it could be like our own little get away, you know? Somewhere no one else could bother us."

[*♥ Helena Kyle ♥]

"Of course I came." She felt her heart swell up. "I missed you." The softness of his voice. How tender he sounded. If she wasn't in love with him before, she could have been in that moment. She missed him far more than she would ever let him know.

"No, you took it better then I thought you would." In truth, she had. In person. To his face. But behind her own apartment doors she was so torn up inside trying to account for the last couple of rounds in her life she had to face that bastard, and not only had he tried to sink his fangs into that, he seemed to have accomplished his mission with Shaden.

"Oh love, I have nothing to forgive you for." Her cheek nuzzled softly against his as she took in his scent. She missed that. She missed his eyes too but she couldn't look there. Not yet. If she had she would surely melt away into the abyss that was Shaden Grace.

"I let him mark me in a moment of weakness, and didn't stop to think about how this would affect you. How it would affect us." She shouldn't have blamed him for his actions. It wasn't as if he had fallen in love with her before that night. Had he? Now there was another thought and instantly she wanted to shush those perfect soft lips with her index finger and make it all go away.

"I should be the one asking for forgiveness." He had it. He had it and he didn't even know it. She wouldn't have called him if he meant so little, but because he had meant so much to her, she couldn't help but keep him.

Helena lifted her head away from him, her arms wrapped around his upper frame as fingers danced delicately over the nape of his neck. A little smirk rose over her lips with the faintest of ease. He had started to grow out his hair. Maybe a nice measure to grasp at strands later on. It wasn't that long, just nice enough to feel. He'd cut it again. She was sure he would. "Let's not delve into that tonight." She spoke swooning with her words. The soft hint of a sigh there in her throat as she finally lifted eyes up to his own. Face to face with beauty upon beauty. How could she not love him? Granted she wasn't superficial, looks didn't mean so much, but it didn't hurt. Shaden had showed her nothing but warmth and passion up until the news. It was only fair she feel that way about him.

Shaden had looked past her, probably over the water as she had moments ago, and then turned beautiful sea glass orbs to her own. "How would you like your own island?" Helena giggled as if he were kidding. Trying to liven up the mood. Her head meshed against his shoulder, squealing with a throaty laugh.

"I thought it could be like our own little get away, you know? Somewhere no one else could bother us." She paused, lifting her head to look at him in the eyes. He was serious. Wasn't he? An island? How incredible. If only it were closer to home and away from the states. How perfect.

"You're serious....." She spoke out in awe. Looking into his soul for some sort of emerging laugh. But there wasn't one. If she could breathe she would breathe then and there. My God how she wanted to breathe again.

Arms lowered, sliding over his shoulders, down halfway over his arms before they left his body completely. It was fast. Unexpected. A place for just the two of them? No wandering eyes to watch and be nosey? No Sevanni? Oh it sounded like heaven. Even if he didn't say all those things, she was thinking it, and the more she thought about it, the more it seemed like a beautiful idea.

She didn't give him an answer. Not just yet anyway. In her own way she did say yes because she had bruised his lips with hers in sheer enjoyment of the idea of the two of them alone. Together. Privacy. "You're an absolute nutter you know that Grace?" She smiled, her right eye instinctively winking without meaning to. The smirk playing lovely over her features. She had never called him by his last name before, but it was something she had been wanting to try. She would stick with Shaden. Or, Mr. Grace. Oh and how full of Grace he was.

She should wait to tell him. But why? Her nerves were shot. She was nervous beyond compare, and he intimidated her to no extent. Not in a cruel and violent way, but, there was this protectiveness that she felt from him when they were alone. As if nothing bad would or ever could happen to her or them both.

A soft and slow hum emerged from her throat as she let her hands move over his forearms as his hands held to the sides of her waist. She needed to prolong it. Stop getting meddled into thoughts she had no right to hold on to.

"Shaden...." It was almost quizzical, her eyes lifting up to his again after thinking about what to say. But she couldn't. Not then...not there.

A smile formed over lips, soon it turned into something sneaky. Her playful side wanting to come out. He was being sweet and seemingly romantic, in their own little way, vampire ways, it was lovely. Eventually in that night she would tell him yes and smile with a sanctified wallow of emotion.

"Come on...." She began as she took to his hands. "Let's go for a dip." She nearly whispered it as she pulled him gently toward her as she stepped back...Getting him wet.....well the idea was a lot more than wonderful. She'd always remember him wet from the first night, and she rather liked it.

[Shaden Grace]

"You're serious....." He smiled. He thought that might happen. She would take it as some kind of joke to lighten the mood and make the night better. "Yeah, thats been known to happen every once in awhile." He was so serious. Had she not wanted to see him again he would have scent the deed in the mail to her, as an apology sort of thing, to make up for being so selfish. Although he tried to hide it, Shaden really was very selfish when it came to something he wanted very much. Which was also why he spent so much time away from Sevanni's lately. He didn't want to wait around for it to be his turn. For Sevanni to finally decide to come and see him. He had Helena, he loved her, and he could see her every night without having to share her with anyone.

He became slightly nervous by her response; her arms sliding down over his shoulder and down his arms before he touch left him altogether. Should he not have said that? Maybe it was a little too fast for her. Honestly Shaden wasn't much of a romantic. He'd never felt the need to be and it had never been expected of him before. Not that he thought Helena expected him to be romantic, but for her, he had felt the need to at the very least give it a try.

However, his sudden worried were not important, and dissolved the second he lips had been pressed to his. "You're an absolute nutter you know that Grace?" He smiled and laughed softly. "That may be so, but you have to live with this nutter, so you had better get use to it." He didn't even mind her calling him by his last name like that. Coming from her lips, her voice, it sounded too perfect to care. No one had ever called him that before, mostly because everyone knew he disliked it, but she made it sound so sweet, as if the name Grace was not a name at all, but a title of some sort.

She looked as if she had something on her mind, like she had something she wanted to say but didn't know how, or if it was the right time. He didn't say anything. He wouldn't pressure her into telling him anything if she didn't want to. He simply held her closely, and waited for her to make her mind up.

"Shaden...." He noticed the tone. Almost quizzical. "What is it? You can tell me anything, Helena." His tone was soothing, and soft. He may not want to push her into telling her something she didn't want to, but that didn't mean he still didn't want to know.

She didn't answer, and instead smiled at him, and it soon turned into a sneaky smile, warning him that she was wanting to be playful. He returned the smile. He could handle playful. He practically lived his life on playful. Well, that and a few other things. "Come on...." She took his hands into his, "Let's go for a dip." He raised a single brow. "A dip?" He looked out at the water as she pulled him toward her as she took a step back. "I'm starting to think you have a thing about me being wet." His voice both curious, and still soft enough to be sexy. Well, if she wanted to go for a swim, that was fine with him. He rather enjoyed swimming, however, it wasn't something he got around to doing all the time.

[*♥ Helena Kyle ♥]

"I'm starting to think you have a thing about me being wet." Of course that smirk played yet again over lips to his rebuttal of words. Hair bounced over shoulders as she skipped forward with hands and fingers trailing fabric over her body and letting them be tossed to the side in a piled heap.

Arms moved across her bare chest, leaving panties on and looking over her shoulder at him. "Don't tell me you're afraid of a little water." She teased. Pearly whites shone clear to his features and the coldness of the water shattered skin as feet moved her closer inward. She didn't turn around until her upper frame had been covered by dark filled waters.

A giggle was dispersed as she looked over at him. Getting a glimpse of him in bares would be something interesting. What sort of swimmer was he? Would he wade or doggy paddle? Would he back float or curl up to her?

Helena would stay where she was, wait and see. Chills began to swim over her skin as the water settled in temperature around her. She wanted to slip arms around shoulders and move close. Kiss those lips and wallow in his glory for it was glorious of him to even be there.

"I feel so comfortable around you. Like.....everything bad has jumped out of the window and there is no shame or remorse for anything done in the past. As if it never mattered before this."

A low sigh, a humble downward chin motion given, though she did managed to look up at him seconds later and smile a little. "I do however wonder what you were like before......." Perhaps there would be some awkwardness in sharing a bit of his past. She would understand if he declined, he had his rights to privacy and so forth just as much as she had. She never spoke of Damien, who he was, what happened between them. She never spoke of her involvement with a church.

There was closeness between the two recently, her shame for those thoughts had to be placed in the back of her mind. She couldn't reflect on that just yet, but being so close to him as much as they had thus far....it was getting harder and harder to push them in the back of her mind.

"I'll understand if you don't want to tell me....." Would he ever share his mortal life with her? Would she with him? Sure, if he had asked, if it had been brought up. Surely she'd divulge enough about her life as he did, and even open up so that he would. Communication was everything, and in that moment, it had been important because it held her sinful thoughts as far back as she could possibly muster.

[Shaden Grace]

Eyes followed the path of her hands as they pulled away the fabric from her body, his eyes burning now with barely controlled desire as she continued to undress. It sounded weird to say she was breathtakingly beautiful considering he didn't have to breath. There simply weren't enough words in the entire world to describe how she looked standing there with the lake as a background. His fingers ached to run over her soft skin, his lips burned to run kisses along her neck and shoulder. He had to fight just to keep his hands down at his sides.

"Don't tell me you're afraid of a little water." He smiled at her light, teasing remark. No, he wasn't afraid if a little water, but he did know for a fact that this water was freezing, however, he wasn't about to let a little bit of cold water stop him. He watched her go out further until most of her was covered by the dark waters. Then, knowing she would probably take some amount of enjoyment from it, he started getting undressed, moving slowly and occasionally throwing quick glances in her direction. After giving a nice little show of his undressing until he was in his boxers, he stepped into the water. It wasn't as cold as he thought it would be, but then, his already cold skin helped with that.

"I feel so comfortable around you. Like.....everything bad has jumped out of the window and there is no shame or remorse for anything done in the past. As if it never mattered before this." He was slightly surprised by her words. He wish he could feel the same way. Oh he did feel comfortable around her, but the things he'd done in the past would never go away. Not for him. At least that's how it felt to him. The water was just barely below his waist at this point.

He liked to swim. He was good at it. A slow smile pulled at the corner of his lips and then he dived under the water. She wasn't that far out, and it was too dark for her to be able to see him under the water. His hands were out in front of him, and as he touched her skin, grabbing her around the waist he stood up and without hesitation pressed his lips against her own. Hands moved down to her thighs, lifting her and wrapping her legs around him, pulling her close. His lips left hers, making a small trial of kisses along her jaw, and then finally pulled his head back to look into her face.

"I do however wonder what you were like before......." A slight tilt of his head, more surprise. Before.. as in before he was a vampire. She wanted to know about his past. About when he was just a human. That certainly wasn't something he just went around talking about. There was only one person who actually knew about his human life, and that was his fledgling, Dante, but that was only because they had grown up together. Now Helena wanted to know. There was hesitation now, but he didn't look away from her. "I'll understand if you don't want to tell me....." With that, he had made up his mind. "I'll tell you anything you want to know." Anything. And he meant it. There was no real reason to not tell her. But he wasn't sure where to start. His right hand trailed along her back slowly as he thought.

"Well, I guess I should start by saying that I wasn't an only child. I had an older brother, and two sisters, one older and one younger." Yes, that seemed like a good place to start. "I had a younger brother, but he died when he was only two." His eye, though looking at her, seemed to be almost distant, like he was seeing both her and his past. "My mother took his death extremely hard, and she basically stopped caring about the rest of us. It was like we weren't really there." There was a little bit of sadness when he talked about his mother. "My father had always been a violent man, but after wards, it just got worse. I hadn't thought it was possible. That I could actually be more abused and beaten then I had been before."

He remember it all so well. It was still so clear to him, as if it had happen only yesterday. "I was the one who took all the beatings from out father. When one of the others would get in trouble, I'd step in and make some rude comment. He'd forget about them and come after me instead. I saved them the pain." A slightly bitter smile formed over lips. "The older two never appreciated what I did for them." His eyes clear and he seemed to focus on her fully now. Oh he'd tell her more if she wanted to hear more, but just wanted to stop, see her reaction so far to what he was telling her.

[*♥ Helena Kyle ♥]

How magnificent his features were. She could remember every chiseled portion of his upper frame. The way cut lines ran toward his center. Those arms. But what she wished she could forget, had been that discerning look on his face. The past was the past of course, but it was also another doorway into who he was. There was always a way to tell someone about yourself without actually telling them specific portions of their life. This made her feel a bit horrible as to how she had thought to share her own world with him.

She felt safe with him. Though the coldness of the water to match their pale, lifeless, cold skin, she felt as if she were in a hot tub. A comforting tone of no worry came about, but Shaden had delighted her with a simple reply. "I'll tell you anything you want to know." Well that was saying a lot. She wanted to know as much about him as she possibly could. Right down to the color of his baby booties. Well, she assumed that back then there were at least baby booties. Or not. What Helena missed was the sense of knowing ones parents. Shaden had only caused her to change her mind when it came to the father.

"Well, I guess I should start by saying that I wasn't an only child. I had an older brother, and two sisters, one older and one younger." Oh how wonderful. This had made her want to squeel and clutch him with pitched shoulders. "Oh brother's and sisters how wonderful." She had let it out. Maybe she was jumping the gun a bit. It could have been a horrible experience. Still, she reveled in the fact that there had been other Graces out there running about. She had found the right one.

[/b]"I had a younger brother, but he died when he was only two."[/b] A small saddened sigh was released as her arms slumped a bit as they privied to remain wrapped around over his shoulders. Fingers unwove themselves and she let fingertips trail over the nape of his neck as they waded in the water. How tightly together with him she had been, and so into his tale of his past.

Eyes lifted up as he went off of the subject. She would listen, contribute her feelings towards words. How distant yet so close he had looked at her. It was almost.....poetic. "My mother took his death extremely hard, and she basically stopped caring about the rest of us. It was like we weren't really there." Sadness was written on his face and her mouth had automatically formed into a empathetic pout. "My father had always been a violent man, but after wards, it just got worse. I hadn't thought it was possible. That I could actually be more abused and beaten then I had been before." Which explained his I don't fear you attitude. So brave, even in mortality. That was beautiful.

No one should hit others unless it was needed in defense. Helena was a ferocious cat when she had to be, though there was a bound line that she tried never to overstep. It was the only way she could try to remain domestic rather than fly off the handle like some blood thirsty junkie. Granted there had been a great many times where she had to hold back and trust in her God to help her though, but a vampire can never resist even a single drop of mortal blood. No matter how powerful your will was, there was no pheaseable way to not drink from a mortal. Otherwise you may lose your mind living off of animals. Were they too not animals?

"I was the one who took all the beatings from out father. When one of the others would get in trouble, I'd step in and make some rude comment. He'd forget about them and come after me instead. I saved them the pain." Such a toll on one child. She was grateful she didn't know the feeling of being ignored by a parent. Not entirely. And to take blows from your father, horrible. Then that look on his face had confused her completely. Even as she rested with him, she never saw anyone speak about something and let that look play about their face. "The older two never appreciated what I did for them." Brows lowered in the depreciated way her eyes folded to a stand still. As if she wanted to comfort him and feel for him. But that was the past, and now she was letting him bring it up. As much as it hurt him to do so, she had been tacked to his words like white on rice.

He changed again. Sea glass orbs laying upon hers. The soft way he held his gaze. She could lay under the moon in the rain and listen to him all night long. Could she respond with something soothing? Let him continue? Somehow lighten the mood and fiddle with how things were suppose to turn out? She wanted to know more, oh good God so much more.

She could change it to something a bit more.....upbeat....

"Have you ever turned anyone?" Truly she wanted to know. Helena had never turned a single soul. Not anyone that was worthy, but she didn't want to put another through the crap she had gone through. It took a lot of restraint, faith and courage to be where she was. "Do you ever think about them now?" Sure,since it had been centuries. How old was he? He had never fully responded or hinted to exactly how old he was. She always thought that it had been like asking a woman her age or weight. You just didn't go around asking other vampires how old they were, and if they told you they were braggers who not just bragged, but name dropped and took pride in their snitching.

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[Shaden Grace]

It really wasn't so bad; reliving his past again. Telling her certain things that might interest her, let her get glimpse into his past and allow her to understand how what happened then, effecting how he acted now. She did seem to understand, he'd seen it there in her eyes as he'd been talking. It felt nice; finally letting someone in and slowly let her see how he had become the man he was. She had even been happy about him having brothers and sisters. He knew her curiosity was by no means over, and he knew he'd have a lot of nights simply telling her everything or possibly even showing her when something was too difficult for him to talk about.

And the way she was looking at him... he couldn't help but kiss those soft, perfect lips of hers, and then moving down her neck. "Have you ever turned anyone?" He lifted his head to look back into her eyes. He heard the honest curiosity there in her voice, but he also had a feeling she was trying to find something less sad to talk about, and although he appreciated her attempt, even that subject was tainted. How many had he turned? Was it seven. Yes, that was it. How many were left? Only two. Though Shaden tried very hard to hide it, he actually hated being disappointed.

So it isn't really hard to guess what happened to the other five. They had been disappointing, and so Shaden had gotten rid of them to save himself from having to look after them. Alex was lucky to still be alive at all. But Shaden had found himself unwilling to kill him like the other for reasons he didn't know or understand. He knew Sevanni had met him. It really wasn't such a big secret or anything, though he'd never once mentioned it to Sevanni. He preferred to let him think Shaden knew nothing about it. In truth, he was very upset that they had met. Such a disappointing little creature Alex was. He would have much preferred Sevanni to have met Dante. He was perfect, and Shaden couldn't be more proud him then he already was.

Though he wouldn't tell Helena all of this. No, there really wasn't any need to. "Yes, I have. At the moment I only have two." He shouldn't even count Alex, but it would be a lie to say he had only one. He didn't want to lie her, not over something so small and unimportant. "Do you ever think about them now?" All the time. He wished he could see Dante, but he didn't want Sevanni getting upset and acting all possessive or something. He would just think Dante was in the way, and he didn't want the two of them fighting. And they would fight.

Dante had been with Shaden for so many years that he'd even started using his last name. Dante Grace. He didn't mind. It was just a name. But because of the completely closeness they shared, Dante would only get pissed when he saw how Sevanni and Shaden were together. Even if they didn't kiss or so much as touch each other while he was around. He'd still know. Hell, Dante knew Shaden so well he could practically read his damn mind. He knew what Shaden was going to say just seconds before he actually said it.

"Lately I think about them all the time." He finally said, and smiled. "Maybe some time you could meet them." He was sure Helena wouldn't mind the way Dante acted. She would understand the bond the two of them had. He would feel a lot safer introducing Dante to Helena then Sevanni. "And what about you.. have you ever turned anyone?" He trailed fingertips along her jaw, moving slowly, and his gaze never left hers.

[*♥ Helena Kyle ♥]

Through it all Shaden had been a sport. He'd given information that was pretty touching, and to this he had stayed strong even when it felt like he wouldn't. Vampires were always so held back and reserved, as much as she had liked to be that way, it just wasn't going to happen. She had melted into the feel of lips along her neck. Not caring that they had still been wading in that water and how much closer they could have possibly been, it still wouldn't have been enough.

"Yes, I have. At the moment I only have two." Wow. Only two? It really made her want to ask his age. But then again, she wasn't one to really talk with basically no one under her own reign of blood. What was it like? How did it feel? Did it make you weak or sick? She was so curious to ask these questions. Not that she was thinking about turning anyone, she was a curious cat.

"Lately I think about them all the time." Spoken with a smile after a needed moment. "Maybe some time you could meet them." A coy little smile emerged. Was that like meeting a man's children for the first time? Or the parents? Oh she would be so nervous, and how would they take to her? If a blush could raise over cheeks it would have been in that moment. A smile and a hint of bashfulness. "That would be nice." Now that was a bit corny. But she just never knew what to say to things like that.

"And what about you.. have you ever turned anyone?" Eyes lifted to his after turning away from blushing. His fingertips were running along her jaw with the faintest ease. How was she even suppose to concentrate with him doing that? Now she forgot the question. Oh right....had she ever turned anyone? Well, that was simple, but her answer came out after a she had shown a bit of weakness to his touch. "No...." Sadly spoken. She had to shake it off for a moment so she could focus and not melt there in his arms. "I've never had the courage to take a life and put them into the one we lead." Not that it was bad. Deep down inside she herself had given in to the occasional blood hunger that drove her to insanity. But to condemn someone to that.....no. "I've always been a loner....I've only been with two others, and neither of them has come close to making me feel the way I do when I'm with you."

Okay, so that was in complete and utter bliss, even with their small fallout of truths she couldn't deny the evident.She just didn't want to let him go. She had been willing before because it was too much to fight for someone you had doubts about mid way through it. Especially when there was nothing but problem after problem. However; this had been different. He'd been far more kind, he made her want to drop her faith, and good God in Heaven he looked at her as if she had been something to him that even she had been so happily clueless about.

Her arms had nuzzled around him better, her heels nearly touching as her legs remained around him. The only thing between them had been their underwear and water, and even the water had been diminishing within their space. "I went to confession tonight." It slipped out as her awkwardness started kicking back up to play. Her head had somehow managed to rest sideways on his left shoulder as fingers on her left hand played across the skin of his free shoulder and just at the curve of his neck. God he smelled so good. Lids went to a partial lower just at the thought. "I didn't know if I was pulling you away from anything. I hope I didn't disturb you." She had to apologize really, or show a bit of concern. She just didn't want to disrupt lives anymore.

"I could think of nothing else but to see you." A comfortable smile rested lightly about her lips as she nuzzled into him. Pretty soon she'd have to push him back into the water to lighten the mood and move off topic as to why she really asked him to meet her there.