In Too Deep ::Patrick::

[ella]

Ella sighed as she pressed her head to the cool surface of the table. A brand new 24 pack of beer sat in the refrigerator and a huge bottle of Jack Daniels sat on the table, nestled in a bowl of ice.
They were meant to be peace offerings. Patrick was going to be furious. He had never been mad at her before and she wasn't sure if she was ready for this conversation.

A few frustrated tears plopped down her face. There was no way that this could be seen as a positive thing. Tillie had tried, but Ella didn't see it. How could they have been so stupid? They were kids. Just freaking kids. Ella dug her fingers in her hair and leaned against her arms.

It was bad enough that they had all been fighting. Ella buried her face in her hands. Oh god. What if they were fighting because of Litte and James. How long would it be before Xavier found out? How long would their agreement last? They had dug a hole so deep that Ella didn't know if she and Patrick could pull them out of it.

Ella groaned. More tears glittering her cheeks. This was bad. So bad.

[rowanashke]

Patrick was not in a good mood. The night had turned rainy; he'd been out wandering and he'd not thought to bring a coat, so he was drenched to the skin. And on top of that, he'd come across a young vampire...damn them. Damn them to hell. The kid couldn't have been sixteen when they turned her. She'd fought bravely, but he'd finished it.

He hated it when they looked so young...

He peeled his shirt off, not giving a damn who was around to see it, and stomped into the living room. Seeing Ella sitting there, crying, he dropped the shirt, immediately on the alert. "Ella...what's going on?" He demanded, moving towards her. He'd never seen her cry like that...

He glanced at the table and saw the Jack, his eyebrows rising. "Ella?" He asked softly, suspiciously. SOmething was up; something was wrong. He closed the distance between them, his hand moving to gently run through her hair. "Talk to me." He commanded softly, his eyes studying her face. "Tell me what's wrong."

[ella]

Ella pulled slowly pulled away from him. She didn't other to wipe the tears away. She pointed to the whiskey. "You're going to want some of that. The voice was soft and sounded much too small to be coming from her. God damn James for having Tillie tell her, and damn her for asking her to tell Patrick.

She poured too glasses and clinked a few pieces of ice into the cups. She slid one across the table toward him. She cupped her delicately in her hands. She should have looked at him, but she couldn't. Not just yet. She sighed and picked her words very carefully. He was already in a bad mood.

"James is in love...and engaged." She took a few gulps from her cup. "To a sixteen year old vampire." She sighed and closed her eyes. It got better, or worse, but she was going to hit him with one blow at a time.

[rowanashke]

Patrick silently sat in the chair across from her, his eyes fastened to her face. When she shoved the whiskey at him, he took it and sipped it, waiting. Something very bad was coming, he could feel it.

When she spoke, he froze.

James...he pictured the boy's face in his mind. James, who hated vampires. Who'd begged him...begged him to teach him how to unleash the wolf to better destroy them...

James was engaged to a vampire...

"There's more?" he asked hoarsly, his gaze going unfocused. He was fighting the rage; it bubbled just under his skin, scratchy and tight. Threatening to explode, to set him on fire.

To burn...

He absently tipped the glass back and drained it, then sat it on the table, pushing it towards her in a silent command to refill it. "Tell me." He barked.

[ella]

Ella clenched her jaw, but made him another drink. She didn't like being yelled at. Especially not by him. As angry as it made her, it hurt her just as bad. He had never been so hostile to her. She roughly put the cup in front of him, sloshing some of the liquid out.

She cleared her throat. "Vampires know. Sevanni Black, Xavier's second, and Xavier's girlfriend, prodigy, whatever the hell she is. There are one or two others, but they are unimportant." She slid from her seat and went to stand over at the wall. She didn't want to be too close to him right now.

"James told Tillie that he was going to run away to be with her. Tillie concocted this great idea idea in her head and came to me about it." She gulped down the rest of her drink."It wasn't such a bad idea. I meet her, the girl, a few hours ago. I think it would be a good idea if she stays with us for the time being."

[rowanashke]

Patrick closed his eyes. He was trying; he really was. But he couldn't stop his growl from errupting from his throat.

"No." He growled, low and deep. Standing, he stalked over to her, pinning her against the wall. "I killed a sixteen year old vampire tonight." He said, his eyes burning. "I kill them all the time. Why should this one be any different?"

He pushed her against the wall, leaning into her face. "Vampires are scum. Vampires are soulless bastards. They'll say anything, do anything, but they're always lying. How can you..."

He was close to breaking; close to hurting her. Backing off a bit, panting, he glared at her, his rage still burning in his eyes. "She can't stay here. And James is expelled. They better get the hell out of my territory by morning; I can't promise anything if I see them." He growled, his mouth drawn taunt with bitterness. "You...of all people. I thought I could...depend on you, Ella. But...this is..."

He turned from her, his shoulders tense. "This is betrayal." he spat, his hands clenching into fists. "You..." He was suddenly perilously close to tears. "You...I thought..." he couldn't talk anymore. Not without crying, and that was the absolute last thing he wanted to do.

"Get out." he said, his voice ragged. "Just...go."

[ella]

His words sliced through her. She clenched her jaw and it down on her tongue. She wouldn't cry. She crossed her arms and glared at him. He thought back to Katra and the conversation that they had had. She wasn't going to turn her back on any of her pack, that wasn't being a leader.

She closed her eyes and counted to ten. She took a deep breath and opened them. "Fine. I'll take James and Litte and I will protect them. Caleb will come with us because he loves James, Tillie too because she will probably terrified of you now. How many others do you think would leave because you were too stubborn to protect someone who depended on you?

She shot him a nasty look and walked for the door. She stopped and stood still for a moment. Then she picked up a glass and chucked it at his head. It missed and slammed into the wall. "You are the one betraying James. No one else is betraying anyone. I didn't say that it would be a good idea. If we don't keep her here and try to be okay with this James will leave."

Ella threw her arms in the air. "You weren't there when Xavier told me what they were going to do to the woman wolf. What they would do to James would be a thousand times worse." She clenched her fist. They will hunt him down if he runs. Do you want that? Do you even care? They all hate vampires, but somehow everyone is trying to make it okay except you."

She turned and grabbed the bottle of Jack. She opened it and threw the cap as she turned the bottle up. She set it back down on the table and wiped her mouth. "Did you know that Tillie illegally races street bikes and gambles for money. She is so terrified of losing another family that she has a fund started so she can take care of herself."

She glared at him. "She just wanted to help James. And now she is going to be ripped away from another family. Good Job Patrick. Good job at abandoning James when he needed you most."

Ella did something then that she really didn't want to do. She slapped him. She reached out and slapped him. She pulled her hand back to her face and gasped. Immediately sorry. She shoved by him and dissapeared into their bedroom. She emmerged with a small bag. She stalked past him and threw her keys at his feet. "Good job for not having enough faith in any of us. Including me. Obviously we put too much in you."

Ella closed her eyes as tears streamed down her face. She slammed the door on her way out.

[rowanashke]

The slap was the key; it unlatched his control. Snarling, he fought, but he couldn't get it back under. As soon as he heard the door close, he stood, running hard, nearly ripping it off it's hinges. He reached her before she could get too far, grabbing her and snarling at her, his fury blending nearly seamlessly with his fear and his terror and his sorrow.

"All I've ever done is try to protect them. Protect you! And this...at the first trial, at the first gate, you turn from me. You and James...how many others? All of them? I've tried...I've bled for you. For you all!" He said, his voice low and laced with furious ice. "And this is how you repay me? By siding with one of THEM? By wanting to protect one of THEM? If you really cared for him, you'd tie him down and beat some sense in him. If you really cared for this pack, you'd never let a vampire set foot inside the door! Do you know what this is going to do? We needed them to survive this, but we weren't supposed to trust them! How can you...how can you choose their side?"

His voice had slowly thawed, and now, to his shame, he was nearly begging her, his face twisted in pain. "Everything I've ever done...was for all of you. To keep you safe. To keep you whole. But you turn from me...I love...I loved you." He sighed raggidly. "Stay here. I'll leave...obviously, I'm not the packleader anymore, if you would abandon me for this."

He turned, his shoulders slumping. Defeated; empty. Hollow. "I've tried so hard." he sighed, his voice a mere whisper now.

[ella]

Ella froze as she shook her. She had to close her eyes and hold them tightly shut. She couldn't look at him. His tone of voice was enough to cut through her. He had this all wrong. He wasn't even paying attention to what she was saying.

She blinked rapidly when turned away from her. Like hell she would stay here. He was the one who told her to leave. She dropped her bag and kicked it. It was that or punch him in the back of the head. She growled softly.

"This is not about siding with anyone Patrick. This is about trying to protect James. You don't understand. He will do whatever it takes to be with this girl. He can't fight them by himself."

Ella sighed and hesitantly touched his shoulder."He needs you Patrick. He needs us. All of us. One vampire isn't what is breaking our pack apart. You are."

Ella slumped down on top of her bag. "I love you. But you don't need me to protect you, James does." Ella grumbled. "And she wasn't here."

[rowanashke]

"James..."

Patrick sighed. Turning back, he grabbed Ella, pulling her against his chest. "Why should we protect him?" he asked flatly, his hands pressing her to his body. "He turned on us, Ella! He chose...he chose her over us. He had to know...he had to know. We can't help them if they make choices like that. They know. He turned his back on us. Why should we try to help him? And the cost..."

He pulled her away, staring into her eyes, trying to make her see. "The cost could be terrible. We're all in danger from this, not just Idiot boy and his Vampire slut. To try and protect them puts the WHOLE pack in danger. Do you think they'd hesitate to kill any of us to get to them? SHould I place the wellbeing of one werewolf-one werewolf who's already betrayed us!-over the wellbeing of the pack as a whole? How can you say you're thinking of the pack?"

His anger was returning, but now it was softer, lighter. More easy to control. "James made his choice. Now let him live with it...we have to think of everyone else under our protection, Ella. Let him go."

[ella]

Ella's eyes welled up with unshed tears. "I can't and I won't. How could you expect to them to follow us if we turn on them when they need us? James needs us." She pulled away from him slowly.

It hurt to do it. It hurt to move away from him. It hurt to bend down and pick her bag up off of the ground. "I didn't agree to join my pack to yours because I thought that you would so easily turn away from one of them." She swallowed. The sound seemed to echo through her head.

"I would hope that you would have asked me to join you because you thought I was stronger than that. I can't just leave James to them because I know what they will do to them. Just because he did something that you see has betrayal, doesn't mean we should betray him."

"I won't abandon James. Whether you do or not"

[rowanashke]

Patrick growled in frustration. "Didn't you even listen to what I said? This is bigger than one fool. This is about the whole pack...do you want to lead them into a war because of one idiot? Alone? Against every vampire out there with a grudge? We were contemplating war anyway...but this is personal. To protect and defend ONE person you're willing to throw all of their lives away?"

He felt like ripping his hair out. "THey'll follow, if we ask it of them. So let's just do it, then. Let's start a war we have no hope of winning just to say we didn't turn our backs on one. Fine. Bring the vampire slut here. And when the vampires show up to tear us apart, you remember what I said. As you watch them swarm this place, cut our packmembers to shreds, rip out their hearts and suck their blood, you remember my words. They'll come, Ella. They'll come for them. And you're leading them right to their doors."

He turned away, his hands clenching. "I won't stand in the way. Bring them here. Defend them. Just...stay away from me. You and him and her especially. I can't...you're going to destroy them, and I can't stand in your way but I won't support you either."

[ella]

Ella closed her eyes. This was unfair. This entire situation was unfair. She sighed softly. She couldn't do this anymore. Katra was wrong. She was wrong about everything. She just wanted to help her pack. She took a few steps back.

"Fine. Denounce James. Better yet, why don't you just go ahead and hand deliver him to Xavier? At least then he wouldn't have to run and be terrified until they caught him. Expel him Patrick. I won't be apart of it.

Frustrated tears ran down her face. "Obviously my judgment is cloudy and I'm not fit enough to help run the pack. I'm going to go. They are going to come Patrick. They are going to try and kill us regardless of what we do in this situation. You said it. Vampires can not be trusted.

She choked back a sob. "James blood can be on your hands because I can't send him off to die. We are one as a pack. If he dies, a part of the pack dies. That makes us weak."

Ella should have said more, but she didn't. She couldn't. She turned and started walking away. The void growing more noticeable with every step.

[rowanashke]

Patrick let her go.

There was no way to stop it. The pack was broken; the trust was gone. He felt a weight settling on his chest. Everything he had fought for, killed for...it was fading like smoke in a dark room. He watched the back of the woman he'd loved for so long-she was like a stranger now. He didn't know her.

Turning away, he walked back into the house and sat down at the kitchen table. She could have at least left the whiskey. A random thought; he closed his eyes and let his head sink to the table.

For the first time in his whole life, Patrick gave into despair. There was nothing he could do. For one werewolf-and his vampire lover-the pack had broken. For one werewolf, they were all going to die. He'd tried. It would have hurt, but he would have done the right thing. But now, there was...

Nothing.

He didn't cry. The pain was too deep, too raw for tears. It was just a hollow emptiness; a kind of silent withdrawal. He just sat as the darkness came to swallow him up.

[ella]

Ella leaned against a wall in the alley way. She was too angry to think straight. She was going to pummel James for all of this. She groaned and took out her cell phone. She punched in Tillie's number. She rolled her eyes as the usually happy song played in her ear. Any other night it would have made her laugh.

Tillie's sing song voice answering pissed her off even more. She wasn't mad at Tillie. She had to keep that in mind. But from now on, the little wolf wasn't allowed to interfere into things is she couldn't handle it in the right way. James should have known better.

"Tills. Leave the vampire there. Get lost. Go bug James or something." Ella cringed at the excited banter of the little wolf. Did she ever stop talking? "No. Nothing's wrong. Don't let her follow you." More banter, this time Tillie was serious though. A uppity as she acted, she was actually very intuitive about everything. her solemn tone broke her heart even more. "No. Don't come home yet."

Ella clicked the phone shut. She wanted to throw it. This whole day was falling to shit and it was taking her life with it. She needed sleep. She needed a lot of things. Sleep was last on her list.

She trudged back up the sidewalk. She wasn't going to give up on James. But was she really about to walk away from Patrick for it? Hell no. At least not so easily. And definitely not for a damn blood sucker.

Patrick had left the door open. She stood there for a moment and just observed him. She hated seeing him like this. She understood his point. She really did. But she couldn't just leave James stranded. Not all alone. She left her bag at the door. Better safe than sorry.

She walked over and eased herself down after placing the Jack Daniels in front of him, leaning against the table. She stared at him legs, almost afraid to look at his face. "Do you want me to kill her or do you want to do it?" She spoke solemnly, only half way kidding. At this point, she was almost willing to do anything to make it all okay. Almost.